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4 Secrets to Strengthen Your Family

Drenda Keesee • Apr 06, 2020
Good parenting is all about being intentional.

Here are a few secrets to strengthen your family and help you make the most of your time as a parent!

1. Trust yourself.

Our culture is filled with distractions, opinions, offenses, and debates. It’s exhausting!

Parents today are bombarded with worry and criticism, and it can be easy to start doubting:

Am I choosing the right school?

Am I doing enough to further their faith?

Am I buying and preparing the right foods? Organic? GMO? Gluten-free? ?

Stop! Read these words carefully, so they sink in:

You. Are. Enough.

You are doing a great job.

Don’t let things like approval seeking or people pleasing stand between your family and its purpose.

2. Tune in to God.

Tune out the voices and demands of the culture, and tune into God’s voice. Go to His Word to seek clarity. His Word always produces returns! Get in His presence with any concerns about your children, and He will provide answers.

    Proverbs 3:6 tells us, “In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

The enemy uses distraction to get us away from the truth and knock us off our purpose.

Don’t let that happen! Your children are counting on you to give them security, and there is no real security apart from God!

 
3. Know and pursue God’s purpose for your family.

Part of providing your children with security is having a vision for your family. The vision should be the compass for all of the decisions you and your spouse make.

Gary and I raised our children to know God, to be secure in His love for them, and to have faith in His purpose and assignment for their lives. Of course, we still made our share of mistakes, but we always taught them that their security, and their identities, are safe in Christ.

Go HERE for my full YouTube teaching on how to build your life and family right.

The culture is raising scared kids—kids who don’t believe there is a purpose for them, kids who feel lost and hopeless and angry because they are getting fed lies.

I want to encourage you to get clear on God’s vision for your family, so you can truly enjoy each step along the way.

You can’t be present in the moment unless you are trusting the outcome.

Trust God. Allow the Holy Spirit to move spontaneously through your day, and you will see amazing results.

 
4. Never pass up an opportunity to laugh.

I have so many amazing memories of sitting around the table and just laughing with my kids. I mean sides-hurting, tears-streaming-down-cheeks—mascara-stained tears/please don’t post that picture on Instagram—laughing.

Laughter solves a myriad of problems. Did you know that when you laugh, it releases feel-good endorphins in your brain?

There was one night my kids and I, who are all grown now, started talking about what we had learned over the years, and we just laughed and laughed! I went to bed feeling so happy.

God is so good!

Ecclesiastes 3:4 reminds us that there is “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”

So today, put down your list of to-dos or expectations for the perfect frameable photo and let go! Show your children your silly side. I guarantee your family will experience amazing joy and, hopefully, some belly laughter of your own!

Never miss the chance to enjoy those moments; they are memories in the making.

 
5. Be an example.

You can preach to your children every day about what they should or shouldn’t do, but…

The greatest influence on your children’s lives won’t be what they hear you SAY—it will be what they see you DO!

Build your family right by being an example.

If we want our children to have a relationship with God that extends beyond church on Sunday, then we need to model a relationship with God that extends beyond Sunday in our lives.

Now, this doesn’t mean that you have to be a perfect parent. Your children can learn from your mistakes as well! If you lost your temper, take accountability.

Admitting to your family that you're not perfect is a good thing: it’s an opportunity to show your children that we all need God’s grace.

There are always going to be tough seasons as parents. I want you to know I am praying for you, and God is more powerful than any circumstance!

Leave the mistakes in the past, where they belong.

Be present today and every day.

Be the example of joy to those around you.
By Gary Keesee 08 May, 2024
Reading Time 3 mins 43 secs – Are you happy right now? Or are you feeling a little grumpy, or negative, or sorry for yourself? We’ve all been there. Years ago, I had one of those months. Yes, I said months , not days. I was negative. I was feeling sorry for myself. The weight and pressures of life and certain situations were bearing down on me. For some reason, during that time, I went to a conference I really didn’t feel like going to, and the speaker got up and said he was going to talk about being thankful. Great , I thought. Just what I want to hear. What I really wanted was for someone to join me in my pity party. But that wasn’t happening. Because God knew that wasn’t what I needed. He knew I needed someone to tell me the truth. See, I had taken my eyes off of all of the blessings of God. I had stopped remembering all of the amazing times He had come through for me. I had taken my focus off of His promises and put it on my problems. That message was just what I needed. The Holy Spirit dealt with me right then about my heart and how I had been ungrateful. I had to repent. God set me free that day. Here’s the thing: studies show that when you’re happy and thankful , you have 17% more friends. When you’re happy, you live longer and you have less health problems like heart attacks, strokes, colds, the flu, and even pain. Being grateful also strengthens your emotions, makes you more optimistic and less self-centered, improves your sleep, increases your self-esteem and your energy, helps you bounce back after a setback, reduces feelings of envy, helps your marriage, makes you look better, and makes you more productive. Proverbs 17:22 (KJV) says, “ A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones .” See that? Happiness is like medicine. Discouragement sucks the life out of you. Are you reading this and thinking, “ Gary, you don’t know what I’m going through. I have serious problems” ? I understand. But here’s the thing: happiness is not circumstantial. Happiness is a choice you make. I hear it all the time… “Gary, you don’t understand. I hate my house.” Sell it. “Gary, you don’t get it. I hate my job.” Quit it. Find a new one. “Gary, I just hate my life.” CHANGE it. You’re not stuck. You have options. Every single day, you make choices to do something or NOT do something. And you have plenty of reasons to be happy. Stop thinking you can only be happy when everything seems “perfect.” Because “perfect” is really rare, and I do mean really rare. In fact, odds are there will always be something in your life that isn’t “perfect.” The good news is, no matter what you go through or deal with in life, you can still be thankful and happy, because you can always trust God despite your circumstances. Philippians 4:6 (NIV) says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God .” Wait. Did you see what that said? Notice it didn’t say, “Only be anxious about the big things you can’t handle on your own.” Nope. It says don’t be anxious about anything . It also says by prayer—and with thanksgiving —present your requests to God. That means you should be thanking Him for all He’s already done and for what He’s about to do in your situation. You should be thanking Him before your answer shows up, because He’s faithful and good. Look at Judges 20:19–25. There, we see the nation of Israel suffering great loss after a huge battle. They had lost 22,000 men. 22,000. Can you even imagine? I’m sure you’ll agree that that was a really bad day. Then, on the second day of battle, they lost 18,000 more men. 40,000 men lost in two days. The Bible tells us they took a day off at that point. They stopped and regrouped. Then, in verse 26, we see that the entire army presented offerings of thanksgiving to God. Things had gone really wrong, and they needed to remind themselves that God was for them, that He is good and faithful, that He was with them. And the next day, they went out and won the battle. So, what about you, friend? Do you need to stop? Do you need to take your mind off the negative and remind yourself that God is for you, that He is good and faithful, and that He is with you?
By Gary Keesee 10 Apr, 2024
Reading Time 2 mins 13 secs – In John 6, we read the story of Jesus feeding 5,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish. Do you know it? It’s where we see Jesus teaching the disciples how to release the Kingdom of God into the earth realm. Basically, a large crowd was following Jesus, listening to Him teach, and watching Him perform miracles. It got to a point where the people needed to eat, and Jesus asked the disciples what they planned to feed the people. Of course, Jesus knew the disciples would freak out. They couldn’t feed 5,000 people. In fact, they started talking about how it would take more than half a year’s wages to buy just a bite for that many people. Jesus was teaching the disciples, and He was teaching us— the Kingdom of God has all the answers you need . How can you release the Kingdom of God into your life? Here are the five steps Jesus took. 1. Look at what you have. Jesus asked the disciples what they had to feed the people. What do you have in your life that you can give God to work with? Jesus multiplied bread into bread and fish into fish. What do you need multiplied in your life? Find some of it. That’s your seed. Also, remember that money can be named. You don’t sow money to believe for more paper or digital money. Money represents your life and can be named to be the thing you need multiplied. 2. Make sure you’re in faith. “To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see” (Hebrews 11:1, GNT). You have to know how to judge whether or not you’re in faith. How? Do you have the right picture? When you close your eyes, what do you see? Do you see yourself with the thing you’re believing for? Can you defend your position? Why do you believe it? Prove it! Because you can be sure that between the “Amen” and the “There it is!” the enemy is going to contend for it, so you better be able to defend it. Do you have joy, expectancy, and peace? Are you in agreement with your spouse? 3. Confess over what you have, and release it in faith. Be specific. Say exactly what you’re believing for and release the seed to God. 4. Get the plan from God. Be ready for new direction, new ideas, and new concepts by revelation from the Holy Spirit. Carry a notepad and a pen. Write everything down. 5. Act quickly! When God gives you the plan, MOVE! It’s wise to have counselors and get wisdom, but you need to act swiftly on any direction you receive from the Holy Spirit.
By Gary Keesee 13 Mar, 2024
Reading Time 2 mins 34 secs – How can you make sure you’re equipped for the growth coming your way this year? Here are my 10 steps to posture yourself for opportunity and success. 1. Ask yourself how you’re handling your current responsibilities. Don’t run from your responsibilities. No matter where you are or what you’re doing, you should be a success. People will still see the evidence of God even if you think you’re in the wrong spot. 2. Detox your life of the things that keep you from having time to think. We live in a fast-paced world. There are plenty of things that can keep you distracted. But it’s in the moments that you stop to think that you’ll find ways to solve problems, and that’s where the opportunities are. So figure out what is consuming your time. Start saying no to some things. Find time to think. 3. Don’t hang around people who are always losing. I know people hit rough spots, but if the people in your life are chronically losing, it’s time to expand your circle. Hang around people who are better than you are, who don’t see things as impossible, and who have vision. It may be uncomfortable for you, but their influence will cause you to think differently. 4. Write down EVERY idea that you have, no matter how strange it seems. Most people filter opportunities and ideas through what they perceive their ability to be. This means most people discard ideas by the dozens because they don’t think they can do them. But God isn’t limited to what you know how to do. The ideas He gives you might seem so weird to you that you can’t process them fully. Write them down so you have time to think about them. 5. Research. Research. Repeat. You don’t need to know how to do something; you need to know how to learn how to do it. Research until you find what you’re looking for. 6. Count the cost before you jump. A lot of Christians hear God and jump out too soon, resulting in catastrophe. There are seasons for everything. God will prepare you for where He wants you to go. Be patient. 7. Always be in agreement with your spouse. Never, ever march out into battle without your spouse being in total agreement and your faith aligned. 8. Ask God for direction. Ask Him to help you, to show you where to go, and what to do. And always remember that prophecy from other people shouldn’t lead you; it should only confirm what God has already said to you. 9. Commit to never quit. Quitting is not an option. Once you’ve moved, don’t move again until God speaks to you. Stay with it. Walk it out. Don’t quit. So many people have so much potential, but they get uncomfortable and they quit. If you want to win, you should always be stretching. 10. Get ready to embrace bigger things. Your ability to see the big picture will keep growing as you change and grow on the inside. You’ll pick up on even more opportunities. For more principles, check out this FREE video on success.
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