You Don’t Have to Be Alone to Feel Lonely

Drenda Keesee • December 12, 2019

Here’s the thing about loneliness—you don’t have to be alone to feel lonely.

You can have thousands of Facebook friends and Instagram followers, and be in the company of people constantly but still not feel emotionally close or connected to anyone. That’s how people can “party” constantly and still feel lonely.

There are so many ways to connect to others through social media. But people are reporting feeling more lonely than ever. How is this possible?

We have an innate need to connect with others on a human level. Yes, social media can help us keep connected with loved ones. But it can also help establish a fantasy where we put our best on display for others to see, and avoid face-to-face relationships where people can see our humanity, with all our faults and failures. It can also make others’ lives look more glamorous and enviable in comparison to our own.

Not the real deal.

Social media gives us the opportunity to build superficial “relationships” with acquaintances, or “friends,” by the boatload. But it can actually inhibit us from connecting on a deeper level with the people we have the greatest opportunity to find real depth with.

Studies actually show that addictions to social media sites actually trigger people to isolate themselves.

Social media should be one small aspect of your social life. If the sites you’re visiting aren’t improving your relationships or your quality of life, it’s time to make some changes.

Social media can even become an escape from face-time with family, children, and friends. Perhaps the real lure of social media relationships is to avoid having to build close relationships in-person and day-to-day. After all, superficial relationships don’t face the challenges that real relationships do.

It’s easier to “friend” someone on Facebook than to actually build a friendship, mentor others, or touch lives, and be touched as we do so.

Relationships require work. And that can be intimidating.

We risk rejection. Disclosure can be risky, and it’s usually easier not to take the chance. Fears of all kinds can keep us from sharing our hearts with others or caring and deeply trusting anyone. The fear of not connecting or being rejected by someone can cause us to put up walls, or worse yet, be competitive to prove our worthiness.

But building real, valuable relationships can only happen in a non-competitive atmosphere, where no one is trying to prove they’re worthy of love or have something to offer. Competition for acceptance can undermine honesty, trust, and loyalty—the stuff that all healthy, solid, and satisfying relationships must have to grow. Competitive relationships just aren’t satisfying. But yet we compete.

We’ve lost our way!

God created us and only He knows what will fulfill each of us and bring lasting peace and happiness to our lives. But we’ve ignored His design for life and lost our way in this world. Today, we have so many breakdowns in relationships that it’s no wonder so many people are unhappy with life.

We were created for relationship.

This just seems to be the time of year when it’s most evident that people all around us are missing out on the very relationships God intended each of us to have.

So many people today are lonely because they lack the mentorship and friendships that make this world navigable. These relationships give us people to celebrate life with, and people to support us in the hard times.

It IS possible to live life the way God Our Creator intended it to be lived and have the happy, healthy relationships He intended us to have.

We just need to turn our hearts to His Word and regain the “Titus Tradition” of the spiritually older women teaching the younger how to live life and love their husbands and their families (Titus 2:3-5). This holds true for men as well.

Women and men both need mentors .

God gave us incredible examples of mentorship in the Bible. Paul mentored Timothy as a son in the faith and helped him become his best, reaching his potential in Christ. Paul had to be willing to invest into Timothy, and Timothy had to be willing to receive instruction from Paul. And, instead of competing with his spiritual elder, Timothy submitted his heart to be trained by Paul. He didn’t resent Paul’s correction, but welcomed it with respect, acknowledging God’s plan to train him toward his destiny.

Ruth told Naomi that she would follow her and that whatever she chose, she would choose also. She said,

Wherever you go, I will go. Your people will be my people and your God my God.

Both Ruth and Timothy found God’s blessing and provision because they were both loyal to their mentors and were willing to serve beyond what most people would do—they went beyond the call. It wasn’t just about what they could each get for themselves. And their mentors wanted the best for them.

Paul exhibited honest leadership in his relationship with Timothy, and Timothy’s respect toward Paul earned him a place to be mentored. Paul’s mentorship of Timothy helped to carry the gospel further than Paul could reach by himself. Both were the benefactors of a healthy relationship.

You don’t have to do life alone.

Like Timothy and Ruth, we were never intended to carry the difficulties of life alone. There are those who have gone before us (mentors), and those who are walking the same path we are walking (friends). We need them both in order to become our best and enjoy the journey.

Sure, there are challenges to overcome in nearly every relationship. But if we choose our friends and mentors wisely, and make the commitment to be loyal, honest, trustworthy, grateful, and faithful, God can bless our lives with these relationships, and we can enjoy the journey together.

You can make real friends, laugh heartily, learn truth together, live whole, and love freely. When you come into God’s Kingdom, you come into a family—the family of God. This transformation should impact every relationship in your life. You can learn how to walk in the grace and empowerment that is yours in your marriage, family, home, friendships, and life.

God has answers for your connections to people.

Ultimately, our greatest joys come from relationships with those we love. There is an anointing from God to enjoy relationships. And you can have tremendous joy as you are empowered to be the friend, wife, husband, father, mother, mentor, and minister that God has called you to be.

Five Quick Tips to Build Healthy Relationships

1. Accept God’s love for you.

Grow in self-acceptance because you know He loves and accepts you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by Him.

2. Let God be the master architect in your life.

Let Him direct you to mentors and friends that can help you grow and change.

3. Be willing to submit your heart.

Be open to being trained and sharpened by others in a loyal, committed exchange, accepting that God will ask you to invest in and befriend others as you have been mentored.

4. Be friendly.

5. Be found faithful.

When you blow it, as we all inevitably will at some point , forgiveness and humility are the glue that will hold the relationship together. Invest in people God’s way. Free yourself from wrong expectations and hurtful words and actions.

 

By Gary Keesee July 16, 2026
Reading Time 5 mins 07 secs – Many Christians know what God has promised. They’ve read the verses. They’ve heard the sermons. They believe God is faithful. Yet they still wonder why they aren’t seeing breakthrough. Why does fear keep returning? Why does peace seem so difficult to hold onto? Why do God’s promises sometimes feel distant from everyday life? The problem often isn’t that God has failed to provide. The problem is that many believers have never learned how His Kingdom works. God never intended His children to simply know His promises. He intended them to live in them. You Belong to the Kingdom Paul writes that we are “ No longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household ” (Ephesians 2:19, NIV). The moment you accepted Jesus Christ, everything changed. You weren’t simply forgiven. You became a citizen of God’s Kingdom. Citizenship comes with rights. Every nation has laws that protect its citizens and benefits they are entitled to receive. God’s Kingdom is no different. When you were rescued from the kingdom of darkness and brought into God’s Kingdom, every promise He has made became part of your inheritance. You have a legal right to everything God says belongs to His children. The question is whether you’re living like a citizen. Knowing Isn’t Enough Many people assume that knowing God’s promises is enough. But Scripture teaches something different. You can know what God says and still fail to experience it. Imagine owning a field. The deed is in your name. You clear away the weeds and prepare the soil. But you never plant a seed. The land belongs to you, yet it produces nothing because you never put it to work. Many believers treat God’s promises the same way. They know them. They can quote them. But they never learn how to apply them to their lives. God’s promises were never meant to stay on the pages of your Bible. They were meant to become your reality. Prioritize Standing Your Ground Paul tells believers to “put on the full armor of God” so they can stand against the schemes of the enemy. Then he repeats the same instruction again and again: Stand. Stand your ground. Stand firm. The enemy’s greatest weapon is often intimidation. He wants you to surrender what God has already promised. He fills your mind with fear, doubt, and discouragement, hoping you’ll abandon your confidence before the answer comes. But Scripture says the shield of faith extinguishes every fiery dart of the enemy. Fear doesn’t have to control your thinking. When you know who you are in Christ and what God’s Word says about you, you don't have to agree with the enemy. You agree with God. Apply What God Has Given One of the most powerful verses in Hebrews says that the heroes of faith, Through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised (Hebrews 11:33a, NIV). Notice the progression: They believed. They acted. Then they received what God had promised. Faith is more than believing God can do something. Faith responds. It takes hold of what God has already provided. Jesus demonstrated this throughout His ministry. When He encountered sickness, He spoke to it. When He encountered demonic oppression, He commanded it to leave. He applied the authority that already belonged to Him. As citizens of God’s Kingdom, we have been given authority through Christ. That doesn’t mean we control God. It means we agree with His Word, receive His promises by faith, and apply them to the situations we face. Don’t Settle for Less In the book of Judges, the Israelites abandoned the fertile land God had given them and hid in caves because they were afraid of their enemies. Instead of standing on God’s promise, they adjusted their lives around fear. How often do we do the same? We settle for anxiety. We accept defeat. We lower our expectations. We begin believing our circumstances have the final word. But God’s Word says otherwise. If He says He will provide, believe Him. If He says He has given you peace, receive it. If He says healing belongs to His children, stand on His promise. Don’t build your future around what the enemy says is possible. Build it on what God has declared. Every Promise Is Already “Yes” Scripture says that every promise of God is “Yes” in Christ. God has already spoken. His promises are already established. Our response is faith. Our response is “Amen.” “So be it.” When we agree with God’s Word, stand our ground, and refuse to be moved by fear, we position ourselves to experience what He has already provided. God isn’t withholding His promises. He invites us to understand His Kingdom and walk confidently in the authority He has given us. His promises are still true. His Kingdom still works. And everything He has spoken remains available to those who believe Him. A Simple Prayer Father,  Thank You for making me a citizen of Your Kingdom through Jesus Christ. Help me understand what You have already provided for me and teach me to walk confidently in every promise You have given. Strengthen my faith to stand firm when challenges come and to agree with Your Word instead of fear. Show me how to apply Your truth to every area of my life and trust that Your promises are always faithful. Thank You that every promise is “Yes” in Christ. I receive what You have prepared for me and choose to stand on Your Word today. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen.
By Gary Keesee June 11, 2026
Reading Time 5 mins 48 secs – Most people were never designed to simply survive. Yet that is exactly how many live. Paycheck to paycheck. Bill to bill. Problem to problem. When life becomes a constant struggle to make ends meet, dreams often begin to disappear. Vision fades. Purpose becomes difficult to see. Instead of building something meaningful, people spend their energy trying to escape pressure, avoid emergencies, and make it through another week. But that was never God's design. Money Is Not the Problem Many Christians have been taught to view money with suspicion. Some assume that having money is wrong. Others believe that prosperity and spirituality cannot coexist. Yet Scripture does not say money is evil. Paul told Timothy that “ the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil ” (1 Timothy 6:10, NIV). The problem was never money itself. The problem was allowing money to become an idol. Money itself is simply a tool. Like any tool, it can be used for good or for harm. A hammer can build a house or break a window. The issue is not the tool. The issue is the heart of the person using it. God never intended His people to fear money. He intended them to understand it, steward it, and use it for Kingdom purposes. The Curse Was More Than Sin When Adam and Eve walked with God in the Garden, they lacked nothing. There was no fear. No shortage. No survival mentality. Everything they needed was already provided. But after the Fall, humanity entered what Scripture describes as a cursed system of painful toil, sweat, thorns, and thistles. God told Adam that the ground was cursed and that food would now come through painful labor and the sweat of his brow. From that moment forward, people found themselves fighting simply to survive. Many people are still living under that mindset today. They work jobs they dislike because they feel trapped. They surrender dreams because they feel they have no options. They lose sight of who they are because survival consumes all their attention. But Jesus came to bring something different. Good News for the Poor When Jesus announced His ministry, He stood in the synagogue, opened the scroll of Isaiah, and declared that the Spirit of the Lord had anointed Him to proclaim good news to the poor. Jesus knew that poverty was about more than money. It affects how people see themselves. Dreams are exchanged for desperation. Purpose is replaced by pressure. Jesus came to restore more than provision. He came to restore identity. Think about that. What is good news to someone who is poor? The good news is not that poverty is a blessing. The good news is freedom. Freedom from bondage. Freedom from limitation. Freedom from a system that keeps people trapped. Isaiah’s prophecy continues by describing broken hearts being healed, captives being set free, and those who mourn receiving beauty instead of ashes. It paints a picture of restoration. Jesus came to restore what was lost. He came to reconnect people to the Kingdom of God and the resources, wisdom, and provision that flow from it. You Were Created to Create One of the greatest lies people believe is that they are destined to spend their lives confined by limitations. But you were made in the image of God. God creates. And He created you with the ability to create as well. You were not designed to live without vision. You were not designed to live without purpose. You were not designed to spend your life trapped in survival mode. God reminded Israel in Deuteronomy 8 not to forget where their increase came from. As they entered a land of abundance, built fine houses, and watched their silver and gold multiply, He warned them not to believe their own strength had produced it. Instead, He said, “ Remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth ” (Deuteronomy 8:18, NIV). Notice what it does not say. It does not say God gives everyone wealth without responsibility. It says He gives the ability. The wisdom. The ideas. The opportunities. The strategies. The insight. Often, one God-given idea can change the course of an entire life. The Blessing Works Through You Many people spend their lives looking for something to bless. The Kingdom works differently. God blesses people. When Joseph was placed in charge of Potiphar's household, everything under his care prospered because the blessing was operating through Joseph. The blessing was not on the building. The blessing was on the person. The same principle appears in Deuteronomy 28, where God promises to bless everything His people put their hands to. The blessing wasn't on the barns. The blessing was on the people filling the barns. Wherever you place your hand in obedience to God, His favor, wisdom, and provision can flow through you into that assignment. You carry Kingdom authority. You carry Kingdom citizenship. You carry Kingdom potential. You Can Start Today Perhaps you feel trapped in survival mode. Maybe debt has stolen your peace. Maybe disappointment has caused you to lower your expectations. Maybe you’ve stopped dreaming because life has become about getting through the next month. God has not forgotten you. His Kingdom still operates. His promises still work. His wisdom is still available. His favor still opens doors. Paul wrote that God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask, think, or imagine according to His power at work within us. And the same God who gives seed to the sower still gives His people the power to produce wealth, create value, serve others, and fulfill their purpose. You do not have to spend your life surviving. In Christ, there is a better way. A Simple Prayer Father, Thank You for sending Jesus to redeem me from every part of the curse and to bring me into Your Kingdom. Help me renew my thinking where I have accepted survival as my destiny. Show me the opportunities, wisdom, and purpose You have prepared for my life. Teach me to steward resources faithfully, trust Your promises completely, and use every blessing to advance Your Kingdom. Thank You for giving me the power to produce wealth and the grace to fulfill my assignment. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen.
By Gary Keesee May 18, 2026
Reading Time 5 mins 08 secs – Faith does not usually disappear all at once. It happens slowly. A little distraction here. A little neglect there. A few days without feeding on the Word of God. A few moments of fear left unchecked. Before long, you may still remember what faith felt like, but you are no longer living from that place. That is what spiritual atrophy looks like. In the natural, muscles weaken when they are not used. You may remember being strong. You may remember what you used to carry or accomplish. But when the moment comes to use that strength again, you realize something has changed. The same thing can happen spiritually. You can remember the Scriptures. You can remember past victories. You can know the right things to say. But faith is more than repeating words. Faith is agreement with heaven. More Than Saying the Right Words Jesus said in Mark 11:23 that whoever speaks to the mountain and does not doubt in his heart will have what he says. The issue is not only what comes out of your mouth. The issue is also what your heart truly believes. Many people say, “My faith is weak.” But often, the real issue is unbelief. Jesus said faith as small as a mustard seed can move a mountain (Matthew 17:20). That means the problem is not the size of your faith. If faith is present, heaven has jurisdiction. Faith is not pretending everything is fine while fear still dominates your thinking. True faith is becoming so persuaded by God’s Word that His truth feels more real than the circumstance standing in front of you. The question is this: Are you in agreement with God’s Word? Or has fear, disappointment, or a past failure painted a different picture inside of you? The Enemy Works Through Pictures Fear always tries to create an image. A bad report. A painful memory. A failed attempt. A worst-case scenario. The enemy wants you to meditate on what could go wrong until fear feels more real than God’s promise. But every promise from God carries a picture too. Healing carries a picture. Provision carries a picture. Peace carries a picture. Victory carries a picture. If the picture inside you does not match what heaven says, your thinking has to be renewed. That only happens through the Word of God. Build Your Foundation Before the Storm Jesus said the wise man built his house on the rock. When the storm came, the house stood firm because it had a foundation. The storm is not the time to begin building. Do not wait until sickness comes to search for healing Scriptures. Do not wait until pressure hits your finances to learn how God’s Kingdom works. Build now. Meditate on the Word now. Mark 4 teaches us that the Word is seed. When it is planted in your heart, it grows over time. First the stalk, then the head, then the full grain. Faith grows the same way. As you continue feeding on truth, what God says becomes more real than what circumstances say. What Comes Out First Reveals Your Foundation When pressure suddenly hits, the first words out of your mouth often reveal what you truly believe. Fear speaks quickly. But faith speaks with authority. If fear has been leading your thoughts lately, do not live condemned. Recognize where you are and go back to the Word. Strengthen what has grown weak. Let truth become alive inside you again. Because when you are fully persuaded, you stop wrestling with whether God will do what He promised. You simply stand. You Can Start Fresh Today God’s mercies are new every morning. That means yesterday does not have the final word over your life. You are not trapped by past failures, past disappointments, or seasons where you felt spiritually dry. God is not asking you to live off old victories or old encounters with Him. He invites you to walk with Him daily, to be renewed daily, and to grow stronger daily. You are not stuck in spiritual weakness. Faith can be rebuilt. Strength can return. Your confidence in God can grow again. The same way muscles strengthen through consistent exercise and nourishment, your spirit becomes strong when it is continually fed with truth. Every moment spent in God’s Word is building something inside of you. Even when you cannot immediately see it, the seed is growing. You can renew your mind. You can rebuild your foundation. You can feed your spirit until faith rises again and God’s promises become more real to you than fear, pressure, or uncertainty. The enemy may look for an opportune time, but you do not have to live vulnerable or unprepared. When your life is built on the Word, you are not easily shaken by bad reports, changing circumstances, or unexpected pressure. You know where your confidence comes from. Build your life on truth. Stay spiritually nourished. Guard what you allow into your heart and mind. Listen to the Holy Spirit, and follow His direction day by day. And when pressure comes, you will not collapse under it. You will stand firm, anchored in the promises of God and confident that He is faithful to finish what He started in you. A Simple Prayer Father, Thank You for Your Word and for teaching me how Your Kingdom operates. Show me where fear, unbelief, or wrong thinking has taken root in my heart. Help me renew my mind and become fully persuaded of Your promises. Strengthen my faith, guide me by Your Spirit, and teach me to stand firmly on Your truth. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen.