You Don’t Have to Be Alone to Feel Lonely

Drenda Keesee • December 12, 2019

Here’s the thing about loneliness—you don’t have to be alone to feel lonely.

You can have thousands of Facebook friends and Instagram followers, and be in the company of people constantly but still not feel emotionally close or connected to anyone. That’s how people can “party” constantly and still feel lonely.

There are so many ways to connect to others through social media. But people are reporting feeling more lonely than ever. How is this possible?

We have an innate need to connect with others on a human level. Yes, social media can help us keep connected with loved ones. But it can also help establish a fantasy where we put our best on display for others to see, and avoid face-to-face relationships where people can see our humanity, with all our faults and failures. It can also make others’ lives look more glamorous and enviable in comparison to our own.

Not the real deal.

Social media gives us the opportunity to build superficial “relationships” with acquaintances, or “friends,” by the boatload. But it can actually inhibit us from connecting on a deeper level with the people we have the greatest opportunity to find real depth with.

Studies actually show that addictions to social media sites actually trigger people to isolate themselves.

Social media should be one small aspect of your social life. If the sites you’re visiting aren’t improving your relationships or your quality of life, it’s time to make some changes.

Social media can even become an escape from face-time with family, children, and friends. Perhaps the real lure of social media relationships is to avoid having to build close relationships in-person and day-to-day. After all, superficial relationships don’t face the challenges that real relationships do.

It’s easier to “friend” someone on Facebook than to actually build a friendship, mentor others, or touch lives, and be touched as we do so.

Relationships require work. And that can be intimidating.

We risk rejection. Disclosure can be risky, and it’s usually easier not to take the chance. Fears of all kinds can keep us from sharing our hearts with others or caring and deeply trusting anyone. The fear of not connecting or being rejected by someone can cause us to put up walls, or worse yet, be competitive to prove our worthiness.

But building real, valuable relationships can only happen in a non-competitive atmosphere, where no one is trying to prove they’re worthy of love or have something to offer. Competition for acceptance can undermine honesty, trust, and loyalty—the stuff that all healthy, solid, and satisfying relationships must have to grow. Competitive relationships just aren’t satisfying. But yet we compete.

We’ve lost our way!

God created us and only He knows what will fulfill each of us and bring lasting peace and happiness to our lives. But we’ve ignored His design for life and lost our way in this world. Today, we have so many breakdowns in relationships that it’s no wonder so many people are unhappy with life.

We were created for relationship.

This just seems to be the time of year when it’s most evident that people all around us are missing out on the very relationships God intended each of us to have.

So many people today are lonely because they lack the mentorship and friendships that make this world navigable. These relationships give us people to celebrate life with, and people to support us in the hard times.

It IS possible to live life the way God Our Creator intended it to be lived and have the happy, healthy relationships He intended us to have.

We just need to turn our hearts to His Word and regain the “Titus Tradition” of the spiritually older women teaching the younger how to live life and love their husbands and their families (Titus 2:3-5). This holds true for men as well.

Women and men both need mentors .

God gave us incredible examples of mentorship in the Bible. Paul mentored Timothy as a son in the faith and helped him become his best, reaching his potential in Christ. Paul had to be willing to invest into Timothy, and Timothy had to be willing to receive instruction from Paul. And, instead of competing with his spiritual elder, Timothy submitted his heart to be trained by Paul. He didn’t resent Paul’s correction, but welcomed it with respect, acknowledging God’s plan to train him toward his destiny.

Ruth told Naomi that she would follow her and that whatever she chose, she would choose also. She said,

Wherever you go, I will go. Your people will be my people and your God my God.

Both Ruth and Timothy found God’s blessing and provision because they were both loyal to their mentors and were willing to serve beyond what most people would do—they went beyond the call. It wasn’t just about what they could each get for themselves. And their mentors wanted the best for them.

Paul exhibited honest leadership in his relationship with Timothy, and Timothy’s respect toward Paul earned him a place to be mentored. Paul’s mentorship of Timothy helped to carry the gospel further than Paul could reach by himself. Both were the benefactors of a healthy relationship.

You don’t have to do life alone.

Like Timothy and Ruth, we were never intended to carry the difficulties of life alone. There are those who have gone before us (mentors), and those who are walking the same path we are walking (friends). We need them both in order to become our best and enjoy the journey.

Sure, there are challenges to overcome in nearly every relationship. But if we choose our friends and mentors wisely, and make the commitment to be loyal, honest, trustworthy, grateful, and faithful, God can bless our lives with these relationships, and we can enjoy the journey together.

You can make real friends, laugh heartily, learn truth together, live whole, and love freely. When you come into God’s Kingdom, you come into a family—the family of God. This transformation should impact every relationship in your life. You can learn how to walk in the grace and empowerment that is yours in your marriage , family , home, friendships, and life.

God has answers for your connections to people.

Ultimately, our greatest joys come from relationships with those we love. There is an anointing from God to enjoy relationships. And you can have tremendous joy as you are empowered to be the friend, wife, husband, father, mother, mentor, and minister that God has called you to be.

Five Quick Tips to Build Healthy Relationships

1. Accept God’s love for you.

Grow in self-acceptance because you know He loves and accepts you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by Him.

2. Let God be the master architect in your life.

Let Him direct you to mentors and friends that can help you grow and change.

3. Be willing to submit your heart.

Be open to being trained and sharpened by others in a loyal, committed exchange, accepting that God will ask you to invest in and befriend others as you have been mentored.

4. Be friendly.

5. Be found faithful.

When you blow it, as we all inevitably will at some point , forgiveness and humility are the glue that will hold the relationship together. Invest in people God’s way. Free yourself from wrong expectations and hurtful words and actions.

 

Are You Taking Care of God’s Business?

By Gary Keesee • April 14, 2025
Reading Time 3 mins 8 secs – Let me ask you something. Are you truly concerned about God’s business? Or are you more focused on your own? That might be a tough question, but it’s one we all have to answer at some point. The truth is, when we align our lives with God’s agenda, everything else begins to fall into place. Jesus made it clear in Luke 2:49 (NKJV) when He said, “Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” He was focused. He understood that His life was about fulfilling a divine purpose, not just going through the motions of everyday existence. And guess what? The same applies to you and me. God’s Business First A lot of people are trying to build their own lives, solve their own problems, and make their own way—only to end up frustrated, tired, and lacking. But Matthew 6:33 (NIV) gives us a powerful principle: “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” That means if we take care of God’s business, He’ll take care of ours. I’ve seen this firsthand in my own life and in the lives of countless others. When we align our time, energy, and resources with what God is doing, He ensures that we never lack what we need. Provision follows purpose. Philippians 4:19 (NIV) reminds us, “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” When we prioritize His business, He supplies all we need. What Does It Mean to Be About God’s Business? Being about God’s business isn’t just about working in ministry. It means bringing Kingdom principles into everything we do—our careers, our families, our finances, and even our daily conversations. It means: Using your talents and skills to make an impact for God’s Kingdom : “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters” (Colossians 3:23, NIV). Handling your finances according to His Word, not just worldly wisdom : “Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine” (Proverbs 3:9–10, NIV). Being led by the Holy Spirit in decision-making, rather than reacting to circumstances : “For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God” (Romans 8:14, NIV). Viewing your work as a mission field, wherever you are. Stepping into Your Kingdom Assignment Too often, people are waiting for God to bless them before they take action. But that’s backward! When you step into your Kingdom assignment—when you take that step of faith and prioritize what God is doing—then provision, opportunities, and success start flowing your way. That’s how the Kingdom works. James 2:17b (NIV) tells us, “Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” God has called you to make a difference, to live with purpose, and to operate in the blessings of the Kingdom. But it starts with a choice: Will you focus on His business, or will you continue trying to figure things out on your own? Make the Shift Today If you’ve been struggling, feeling stuck, or wondering why things aren’t working, take a moment to check your focus. Are you aligned with God’s business? Are you seeking His Kingdom first? Proverbs 16:3 (NIV) encourages us, “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” When you trust Him and put Him first, He will lead you to success. I challenge you today: Make the shift. Start putting God’s agenda before your own, and watch how He transforms every area of your life. His business is the best business to be in! Let’s go after it together! Watch the full message here: Are You Concerned About God's Business?

Occupy Your Destiny: Finding Your Purpose in a World of Distraction

By Gary Keesee • March 18, 2025
Reading Time 2 mins 52 secs – Have you ever felt like there’s more to life than what you’re currently experiencing? That nagging sense that you were created for something greater, yet you’re not quite sure what it is or how to step into it? You’re not alone. Many people go through life knowing deep down that they have a specific purpose—a destiny to fulfill—but they struggle to identify it and take the necessary steps to walk in it. But here’s the truth: You weren’t just saved to survive; you were saved to occupy! You were created with a unique assignment and a position of influence in this world. Your destiny isn’t just about achieving personal success; it’s about fulfilling your Kingdom purpose. Moving Beyond Deliverance to Destiny One of the biggest traps believers fall into is celebrating deliverance but never stepping into their destinies. Think about it—have you ever experienced a breakthrough in your life? Maybe you got out of debt, overcame an addiction, or walked away from a toxic situation. But instead of pressing forward, you found yourself simply enjoying your newfound freedom without any real direction. Here’s the problem: Deliverance is never permanent unless you learn to occupy! The enemy will always try to reclaim territory in your life. If you don’t move forward into your destiny, you risk falling back into old cycles. Your breakthrough is just the beginning, not the end. God didn’t free you so you could sit still. He freed you so you could step into your purpose and advance His Kingdom! Understanding Your Authority To occupy your destiny, you have to understand the authority God has given you. Too many believers live far below their potential because they don’t recognize the authority they carry. Authority isn’t about how powerful you feel; it’s about knowing your legal standing. Think about a police officer directing traffic. Cars don’t stop because the officer has the physical strength to stop them. They stop because of the badge —the authority the officer represents. It’s the same with you. Your authority doesn’t come from your abilities. It comes from the One you represent. But here’s the key: You can’t walk in authority unless you’re also submitted to authority. Finding Your Place in God’s Organizational Chart Have you ever considered where you fit in God’s organizational chart? Your destiny is directly tied to understanding your role and responsibilities in the Kingdom. Ask yourself: Where has God called me to be? What unique gifts and abilities do I bring? Who has God placed in authority over me? Who has He placed in my care? When you’re in the right place—operating within your assigned role—things work smoothly, and God’s authority flows properly in your life . The Power of Staying Submitted One of the biggest challenges in stepping into your destiny is staying submitted —especially when you disagree or face correction. Your maturity isn’t measured by your talent or your age. It’s measured by your ability to remain submitted even when it’s difficult . Think about how quickly you want to defend yourself when criticized. Do you get offended? Do you want to quit? That’s a sign of immaturity that can derail your destiny. Submission isn’t about control; it’s about protection. When you remain under authority, you position yourself for greater authority and greater Kingdom impact. Moving Forward with Confidence As you step into your destiny, God will provide everything you need —the right people, the right resources, and the right opportunities to fulfill your assignment. The double portion is already yours! When you align yourself with God’s plan and operate under His authority, you’ll find that He supplies “exceedingly, abundantly above all that you could ask or think” (Ephesians 3:20). So, are you ready to move beyond just celebrating your freedom to actually occupying your place of influence ? Your destiny is waiting. It’s time to take possession of what’s rightfully yours! What area of authority has God placed in your hands? How are you occupying that space for His Kingdom?

Leave the Junk Back in 2024 & Make 2025 Your Best Year Yet

By Gary Keesee • January 8, 2025
Reading Time 4 mins 39 secs – You know, every January, people talk about starting fresh—setting New Year’s resolutions and trying to reset their lives physically, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. And that’s great. But how many times have we found ourselves setting the same resolutions year after year, only to abandon them a few days, weeks, or a month later? This year, I want to challenge you to think differently. Instead of focusing only on what you want to achieve in 2025, let’s also take a hard look at what you need to leave behind in 2024. Sometimes, the biggest breakthroughs come not from what we gain but from what we let go of. Here are three things to leave behind as you step into God’s best for your life in 2025: 1. Insecurities Let’s talk about insecurity for a second. It’s a sneaky thief. It keeps you stuck, paralyzed, and doubting whether you’re capable of doing what God called you to do. Insecurity is not from God. It's the enemy’s tactic to rob you of your destiny. God made you on purpose, for a purpose, and He doesn’t make mistakes. Genesis 1:27 says you were created in His image. That means you have His DNA—His creativity, power, and potential—inside of you. Stop comparing yourself to someone else’s highlight reel. Stop trying to fix yourself with things that don’t matter—more stuff, more status, or other people’s opinions. God has already given you everything you need to walk confidently into your calling. Here’s what to do: Spend time reminding yourself what God says about you. When insecurity tries to creep in, stand firm on the Word of God. Write down affirmations based on Scripture, and speak them out loud! Your words carry power. Be confident in this truth: God chose you for this moment, this season, and this purpose. Let 2025 be the year you leave insecurity in the rearview mirror. You have too much ahead to let fear hold you back. 2. Complaining I’m going to be real with you: complaining is one of the fastest ways to keep yourself stuck. It focuses all your energy on what’s wrong instead of what God’s doing. And the Bible makes it clear: “The tongue has the power of life and death” (Proverbs 18:21a, NIV). What are you speaking over your life? Complaining doesn’t just create negativity; it’s a mindset. When you constantly dwell on the problems, you miss the solutions God is already providing. So, what’s the alternative? Gratitude. Gratitude is a weapon. It shifts your focus and aligns your thinking with God’s promises. Here’s how to flip the script: Start a gratitude list. Write down three things you’re thankful for every day. Train your mind to focus on what God is doing, not what isn’t going right. Catch yourself. When you start to complain, pause and say, “What can I be grateful for in this moment?” Get perspective. Ask yourself, “Is this going to matter a year from now?” Most of the time, the things we complain about aren’t worth the energy. When you retrain your mind to focus on the good, you’ll find that joy and strength naturally follow. The Bible says, “The joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10b, NIV). Let’s lean into that joy in 2025. 3. Toxic Relationships We’ve all been there. Relationships can be a blessing, but some relationships weigh you down, pull you away from God’s plan, and drain your energy. Toxic relationships aren’t just in romantic settings. They can show up in friendships, family, or work environments too. If someone is constantly pulling you away from your purpose, making you question your worth, or keeping you from stepping into God’s best, it’s time to set some boundaries. And listen: this doesn’t mean cutting off people entirely. Boundaries don’t mean you stop loving people. They mean you stop letting their dysfunction control your life. Ask yourself: Is this relationship pushing me closer to God or pulling me away? Does this person consistently build me up, or do they tear me down? When you let go of relationships that aren’t aligned with where God is taking you, you make space for the right people—people who will encourage you, challenge you, and grow with you. I’m Sure You Can Think of More Things to Leave Behind… This list is just a starting point. Maybe for you, it’s leaving behind procrastination, negative thoughts, or the fear of failure. Maybe it’s doubt, pride, or the need to control everything. Whatever it is, take some time to reflect. Ask yourself: What’s holding me back from stepping into the life God has for me? We all have things we’ve been carrying for far too long—things that don’t belong in the next chapter of our lives. This year, don’t just focus on what you’re reaching for; get intentional about what you’re letting go of. There’s power in leaving behind what no longer (or never did) serve God’s purpose for you. Stepping Into 2025 Here’s the good news: You don’t have to navigate this alone. God didn’t design you to do life by yourself. Surround yourself with people who will speak life into you, remind you of God’s promises, and stand with you in faith. You won’t always get it right—and that’s okay. Nobody succeeds at everything all the time. But when you fall, God’s grace is there to pick you back up. He’s cheering you on, and so are Drenda and I. As we move forward into 2025, let’s leave behind insecurity, complaining, and toxic relationships. Instead, let’s embrace God’s truth, walk in gratitude, and surround ourselves with the right people.  This is your year to step boldly into what God has called you to do. Let’s make it count.