You Don’t Have to Be Alone to Feel Lonely

Drenda Keesee • December 12, 2019

Here’s the thing about loneliness—you don’t have to be alone to feel lonely.

You can have thousands of Facebook friends and Instagram followers, and be in the company of people constantly but still not feel emotionally close or connected to anyone. That’s how people can “party” constantly and still feel lonely.

There are so many ways to connect to others through social media. But people are reporting feeling more lonely than ever. How is this possible?

We have an innate need to connect with others on a human level. Yes, social media can help us keep connected with loved ones. But it can also help establish a fantasy where we put our best on display for others to see, and avoid face-to-face relationships where people can see our humanity, with all our faults and failures. It can also make others’ lives look more glamorous and enviable in comparison to our own.

Not the real deal.

Social media gives us the opportunity to build superficial “relationships” with acquaintances, or “friends,” by the boatload. But it can actually inhibit us from connecting on a deeper level with the people we have the greatest opportunity to find real depth with.

Studies actually show that addictions to social media sites actually trigger people to isolate themselves.

Social media should be one small aspect of your social life. If the sites you’re visiting aren’t improving your relationships or your quality of life, it’s time to make some changes.

Social media can even become an escape from face-time with family, children, and friends. Perhaps the real lure of social media relationships is to avoid having to build close relationships in-person and day-to-day. After all, superficial relationships don’t face the challenges that real relationships do.

It’s easier to “friend” someone on Facebook than to actually build a friendship, mentor others, or touch lives, and be touched as we do so.

Relationships require work. And that can be intimidating.

We risk rejection. Disclosure can be risky, and it’s usually easier not to take the chance. Fears of all kinds can keep us from sharing our hearts with others or caring and deeply trusting anyone. The fear of not connecting or being rejected by someone can cause us to put up walls, or worse yet, be competitive to prove our worthiness.

But building real, valuable relationships can only happen in a non-competitive atmosphere, where no one is trying to prove they’re worthy of love or have something to offer. Competition for acceptance can undermine honesty, trust, and loyalty—the stuff that all healthy, solid, and satisfying relationships must have to grow. Competitive relationships just aren’t satisfying. But yet we compete.

We’ve lost our way!

God created us and only He knows what will fulfill each of us and bring lasting peace and happiness to our lives. But we’ve ignored His design for life and lost our way in this world. Today, we have so many breakdowns in relationships that it’s no wonder so many people are unhappy with life.

We were created for relationship.

This just seems to be the time of year when it’s most evident that people all around us are missing out on the very relationships God intended each of us to have.

So many people today are lonely because they lack the mentorship and friendships that make this world navigable. These relationships give us people to celebrate life with, and people to support us in the hard times.

It IS possible to live life the way God Our Creator intended it to be lived and have the happy, healthy relationships He intended us to have.

We just need to turn our hearts to His Word and regain the “Titus Tradition” of the spiritually older women teaching the younger how to live life and love their husbands and their families (Titus 2:3-5). This holds true for men as well.

Women and men both need mentors .

God gave us incredible examples of mentorship in the Bible. Paul mentored Timothy as a son in the faith and helped him become his best, reaching his potential in Christ. Paul had to be willing to invest into Timothy, and Timothy had to be willing to receive instruction from Paul. And, instead of competing with his spiritual elder, Timothy submitted his heart to be trained by Paul. He didn’t resent Paul’s correction, but welcomed it with respect, acknowledging God’s plan to train him toward his destiny.

Ruth told Naomi that she would follow her and that whatever she chose, she would choose also. She said,

Wherever you go, I will go. Your people will be my people and your God my God.

Both Ruth and Timothy found God’s blessing and provision because they were both loyal to their mentors and were willing to serve beyond what most people would do—they went beyond the call. It wasn’t just about what they could each get for themselves. And their mentors wanted the best for them.

Paul exhibited honest leadership in his relationship with Timothy, and Timothy’s respect toward Paul earned him a place to be mentored. Paul’s mentorship of Timothy helped to carry the gospel further than Paul could reach by himself. Both were the benefactors of a healthy relationship.

You don’t have to do life alone.

Like Timothy and Ruth, we were never intended to carry the difficulties of life alone. There are those who have gone before us (mentors), and those who are walking the same path we are walking (friends). We need them both in order to become our best and enjoy the journey.

Sure, there are challenges to overcome in nearly every relationship. But if we choose our friends and mentors wisely, and make the commitment to be loyal, honest, trustworthy, grateful, and faithful, God can bless our lives with these relationships, and we can enjoy the journey together.

You can make real friends, laugh heartily, learn truth together, live whole, and love freely. When you come into God’s Kingdom, you come into a family—the family of God. This transformation should impact every relationship in your life. You can learn how to walk in the grace and empowerment that is yours in your marriage , family , home, friendships, and life.

God has answers for your connections to people.

Ultimately, our greatest joys come from relationships with those we love. There is an anointing from God to enjoy relationships. And you can have tremendous joy as you are empowered to be the friend, wife, husband, father, mother, mentor, and minister that God has called you to be.

Five Quick Tips to Build Healthy Relationships

1. Accept God’s love for you.

Grow in self-acceptance because you know He loves and accepts you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by Him.

2. Let God be the master architect in your life.

Let Him direct you to mentors and friends that can help you grow and change.

3. Be willing to submit your heart.

Be open to being trained and sharpened by others in a loyal, committed exchange, accepting that God will ask you to invest in and befriend others as you have been mentored.

4. Be friendly.

5. Be found faithful.

When you blow it, as we all inevitably will at some point , forgiveness and humility are the glue that will hold the relationship together. Invest in people God’s way. Free yourself from wrong expectations and hurtful words and actions.

 

By Gary Keesee October 10, 2025
Reading Time 3 mins 42 secs – When most people hear the word success, they picture a number in a bank account, a title on a door, or applause from a crowd. Those things aren’t wrong, but they’re not the whole story. Kingdom success is the fruit of living aligned with God’s presence, God’s purpose, and God’s principles. It’s success that sticks in your family, your finances, your calling, and your soul. What God Calls “Success” The Bible defines success as prospering in what God has assigned you to do. Joshua was told to keep God’s Word front and center. You shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. —Joshua 1:8b (NIV) Success begins with alignment, not achievement. When your ways line up with His ways, outcomes change. Success Grows Where Purpose Lives You weren’t designed to drift; you were designed to steward. Deuteronomy 8:18 says God gives you the power to create wealth—not so you can worship wealth but so you can build, bless, and advance His Kingdom. Purpose answers why you’re pursuing something. When your why is right, God can trust you with more. Ask yourself: What problem has God wired me to solve? Who gets helped when I win? How does this goal move God’s purpose forward? Three Pillars of Kingdom Success Presence – Success starts by seeking God first (Matthew 6:33). In His presence, you get clarity, courage, and correction. Purpose – Your assignment sets the target. Aimless motion is not momentum. Practice – Faith works when you work the principles. Plan, sow, and act; God multiplies. Principles That Produce God’s system isn’t random. There’s a time to plant seeds and a time to harvest. If you plant the right seeds consistently, a harvest is inevitable. In Proverbs 16:3, we’re reminded to commit whatever we do to the Lord, and He will establish our plans. Think like a steward and ask, “What have I been given?”(such as time, gifts, relationships, and ideas). Manage them with excellence. Choose excellence daily and do your work heartily as for the Lord, because excellence attracts opportunity. Prioritize wisdom by reading, learning, and surrounding yourself with people who sharpen you. Guard your words; there’s power in the words you speak, so take time to intentionally speak truth. Speak words that are in line with God’s promise rather than with fear. In Luke 16:10, we’re reminded to take faith steps, because small obedient steps multiply, and the servant that is faithful with little can be trusted with much. Break the Success Killers Break the success killers by refusing comparison, which steals both joy and peace. Instead, stay focused on running your own race and celebrating progress over perfection. Avoid hurrying, because quick fixes create fragile results, while patience and process create durable success. Replace excuses like “I can’t” with the empowering mindset of “How can I, with God’s help?” Finally, reject isolation, because lone wolf living limits growth, while community, mentors, and partners in purpose accelerate you. When you consistently choose these healthier patterns, you build the resilience and clarity needed to sustain long-term success. A Weekly Success Rhythm Seek (Daily): 10–15 minutes in the Word and prayer to align your heart and hear strategy. Plan (Weekly): Review your goals and priorities to ensure alignment. Decide your top three Kingdom outcomes for the week. Sow (Consistently): Give, serve, and invest in your skills. Measure (Weekly): What moved forward? What needs adjusting? Celebrate progress, then iterate. Rest (Sabbath): Rest is not wasted time; it’s faith in action . When Progress Feels Slow Psalm 1 paints a picture: a person planted by streams, bearing fruit in season . Not every day looks like a harvest day. Some days are root days. Stay planted. Keep sowing. Harvests have a schedule, and God is never late. A Simple Prayer Father, thank You for calling me to succeed Your way. Align my heart with Your presence, clarify my purpose, and teach me to practice Your principles with diligence and joy. I commit my plans to You. Give me wisdom, clarity, and strength to steward what You’ve placed in my hands. Use my success to bless others and advance Your Kingdom. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen. Carry This with You Success in the Kingdom isn’t a finish line; it’s a faithful life . Start where you are. Work with what you have. Obey what God says. Expect His favor. As you align with His presence, purpose, and principles, you’ll see results that last, results that outlive you, and point people to Him.
September 5, 2025
Reading Time 2 mins 56 secs – Take a moment and think about this: faith isn’t just for the mountaintop moments. It’s for Mondays. It’s for traffic jams, unexpected bills, and the times when you’re just trying to get through the week. God never designed faith to be complicated or out of reach. He designed it to be your everyday operating system. Faith Is for Today Sometimes, we picture faith as something we have to “muster up” for significant challenges, like praying for healing, believing for a miracle, or asking for a breakthrough in a crisis. And while faith absolutely applies to those moments, it’s also for the little ones. Faith is choosing to trust God with your attitude in a tough conversation. Faith is deciding to believe He’ll provide, even when your budget looks thin. Faith is remembering you’re never alone, even when you feel overlooked. Second Corinthians 5:7 (NIV) says, “ For we live by faith, not by sight. ” Notice it doesn’t say “visit by faith” or “use faith once in a while.” It says live. Faith was always meant to be your way of life. Small Steps, Strong Roots Faith doesn’t usually grow in leaps; it grows in steps. Little, steady decisions that put your trust in God day after day. Opening your Bible instead of scrolling on your phone first thing in the morning Speaking truth over yourself when your feelings want to run the show Praying before making a decision instead of relying only on logic These may not seem dramatic, but they lay a strong foundation. And just like a tree with deep roots, your faith will keep you standing strong when storms come. God Is Faithful, Even When Life Isn’t Here’s the best part: your faith doesn’t rest on your ability to figure everything out. It rests on God’s ability to be faithful. And He is. Always. When you feel shaky, remember this: God is steady. When you feel uncertain, remember this: His promises are sure. When you feel small, remember this: faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains. You don’t need giant faith for God to move. You just need real faith in a giant God. Faith That Shows Up in Action Faith isn’t just belief in your heart; it’s trust that shows up in your choices. James 2:17 says, faith without works is dead, which means faith comes alive when you act on it. That could look like forgiving when it’s hard, giving when it feels impossible, or stepping into an opportunity that scares you, but you know God is calling you to. Every time you take action in faith, you’re making a declaration: “God, I trust You more than my feelings, more than my circumstances, and more than what I see.” That kind of faith not only changes your life, but it also inspires others to believe. A Simple Prayer to Start With “Lord, thank You that faith isn’t complicated. Teach me to live by faith in the small things and the big things. I trust You with my today, my tomorrow, and every detail of my life. Strengthen my heart and remind me that You are faithful. In Jesus’s name, amen.” Take This with You Faith isn’t a moment. It’s a mindset. It’s not about pretending life is easy. It’s about trusting God, no matter what life looks like. Friend, you don’t need to wait for a crisis to practice faith. You can start today, right where you are, with whatever you’re carrying. Take a step. Speak His Word. Trust His heart. Because faith isn’t just for the extraordinary, it’s for the everyday. And your everyday is exactly where God loves to show up.
By Gary Keesee August 15, 2025
Reading Time 2 mins 49 secs – Okay, let’s take a breath. Not everything has to be heavy, and healing doesn’t have to feel impossible or mysterious. Sometimes, we just need to be reminded that God actually wants us to feel better. Yes, you included. God Cares About How You Feel We can get so used to pushing through that we forget God never designed us to live burned out, worn out, or always dealing with pain. Third John (NIV) 1:2b says, “ I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well .” God’s heart is not just that we survive life. His heart is that we thrive—spirit, soul, and body. That includes your sleep. That includes your energy. That includes your mind and your moods. Healing Isn’t Just for Emergencies Most of us wait to think about healing until something significant goes wrong. A diagnosis. A surgery. A crisis. However, healing is an integral part of your daily life as a believer. You don’t have to wait for something to fall apart to lean into God’s promises. It’s kind of like drinking water; your body needs it regularly, not just when you're dehydrated. The Word is the same. It brings strength, clarity, and peace to your health before the storm hits. You’re allowed to believe in a life where you’re not constantly recovering—you’re well. Small Shifts, Big Results Maybe you’ve been dealing with something for a while—nothing catastrophic, just something that lingers. A chronic ache. Fatigue. Brain fog. A stress habit that’s hard to shake. Can I encourage you? You don’t have to settle for “just getting by.” Start speaking life over your body. Make simple changes in faith; walk a little more, drink more water, eat a bit better, get quiet with God. Healing isn’t always dramatic. Sometimes, it happens gently. Daily. Gradually. The power of God isn’t always loud, but it’s always effective. The Best Kind of Doctor He doesn’t rush your appointment. He’s never stumped by your symptoms. And He doesn’t hand you a bill at the end. He simply says, “Come to Me.” Come tired. Come unsure. Come with your questions. And He’ll give you rest (Matthew 11:28). Yes, He heals in big, miraculous ways—but He also heals in little moments of laughter, sunlight, worship, and truth. Let’s Make This Simple Healing isn’t about performance. It’s about proximity—staying close to the Healer. So, take the pressure off today. You’re not failing if you’re still waiting. You’re not disqualified if you’ve had some doubts. You’re growing. You’re learning. And most of all, you’re loved. Let healing be a conversation you have with God, not a crisis you fear. Let it be part of your everyday life with Him, not just a 911 prayer when things feel scary. A Simple Prayer to Start With “Lord, thank You that You care about every part of me. You know when I’m tired, hurting, anxious, or overwhelmed. Thank You for being my Healer, not just in emergencies but in the everyday. I receive Your peace and Your promises. I speak life over my body and my mind today, in Jesus’s name. Amen.” Take This with You Healing doesn’t have to feel far away or hard to reach. It’s not reserved for the super spiritual or the desperate. It’s available, it’s real, and it’s for right now. You don’t have to make it complicated. Just take one step. Open the Word, talk to God, speak life over yourself, and trust that He’s working behind the scenes. You don’t have to live in survival mode. You were made for wholeness. And friend? You’re allowed to feel better.