You Should Be Trying to Win People, Not Debates

Gary Keesee • June 30, 2020

This blog was originally shared in our exclusive Team Revolution Partnership articles, but I went ahead and shared it as a special feature around the holidays this past year, just to remind us what we're really here for as we got together with family and friends who we may not always see eye-to-eye with.


Now, in light of all that is happening in our world, we need to be reminded of this more than ever.


Enjoy this special guest post from my friend, Dave Anderson.

You're here for the people.

In this emotionally charged age of liberal versus conservative; atheist versus believer, or pro-this versus anti-that, it’s easy to get so caught up in rhetoric, invective, and the belief that he who talks the loudest and longest wins the debate that you can lose sight of the what I believe is a more relevant objective than winning the argument; winning the person.

And I’m not just referring to the person with whom you’re having differences but also winning those who witness the exchange.

This is why, when watching a news show where there are “experts” on both sides of an issue interrupting one another— shouting out zingers and elevating a normal speaking tone to a series of hysterical shrieks—I change the channel so that whatever intelligence I have left isn’t insulted further.

To be a more effective proponent for causes you are passionate about when you come face-to-face with someone who believes otherwise, I’d like to share some wisdom gleaned from the book Hell? Yes! by Dr. Robert Jeffress.

Influencing vs. silencing

Remember that the goal is to keep the dialogue going with the other person, not to shut him or her down.

People with strong personalities and rhetorical ability think that if they can silence their opponents they’ve won the argument. But any married person knows that’s not the case. If you’re having a disagreement with your spouse, it’s easy through intimidation or insult to cause them to disengage from the discussion. But you haven’t persuaded your spouse of anything, except that you’re a jerk.

For too many people, silencing, rather than influencing has been a primary tactic when discussing sensitive issues like abortion, politics, religion, and the like.

But no one is really heard or understood. The debate diminishes into cheap shots and name calling and the lines separating two sides become a gulf.

Take steps to win the person.

1. Engage with those who hold opposing points of view.

This was a key principle Jesus Christ used for winning people instead of just winning arguments. Jesus went to some places where he was not particularly popular, because to “catch fish” He had to go where the fish were. His goal was not isolation but influence.

2. Listen to other people’s stories.

The way to influence others is not by cornering them and then dumping your own “stuff” on them. Rather than unload your spiritual or political dump truck of arguments and answers to unasked questions, carefully listen to the other person you’re trying to influence. It is only after they feel understood that they’ll be willing to understand.

3. Let your walk speak louder than your talk.

A debater’s goal is to win the argument. A disciple’s goal is to win the person.

Far too many people who share my own Christian faith have learned that they can win a war of words but still lose the war over someone’s soul by being unnecessarily harsh and judgmental. Many non-Christians have rejected the Gospel not because of the offense of the Gospel, but because of the offensiveness of Christians.

I might be persuaded to become a Christian... if I ever met one. – Gandhi

Arthur Burns was a Washington power broker who served in prominent governmental positions from the 1960’s through the 1980’s. He was a counselor and confidant to a number of U.S. presidents during his career. Arthur Burns was also Jewish.

That is why his regular attendance at a weekly Bible study and prayer meeting at the White House in the 1970’s was a surprise to many. Although he was warmly welcomed, different members of the group who took turns leading the meetings never called on him to pray.

One week, however, a newcomer leading the group asked Arthur Burns to close in prayer. The other members shot nervous glances at one another, wondering how Burns would respond to this awkward situation. Burns never hesitated. Instead, he joined hands with the others in the group, bowed his head, and prayed:

Lord I pray that you would bring Jews to know Jesus Christ. I pray that you would bring Muslims to know Jesus Christ. Finally, Lord, I pray that you would bring “Christians” to know Jesus Christ. Amen.

The Samaritan woman at the well was ultimately drawn to a Person, not to a dogma. When she ran into the city to tell people what had happened to her, she did not shout, “Come and listen to these ideas that have change my mind”, but “Come see a Man who has changed my life!”

Winning an argument is a tactic. Winning the person is a strategy.

Tactics win battles. Strategies win wars.

Rooted in Faith for Everyday Moments

September 5, 2025
Reading Time 2 mins 56 secs – Take a moment and think about this: faith isn’t just for the mountaintop moments. It’s for Mondays. It’s for traffic jams, unexpected bills, and the times when you’re just trying to get through the week. God never designed faith to be complicated or out of reach. He designed it to be your everyday operating system. Faith Is for Today Sometimes, we picture faith as something we have to “muster up” for significant challenges, like praying for healing, believing for a miracle, or asking for a breakthrough in a crisis. And while faith absolutely applies to those moments, it’s also for the little ones. Faith is choosing to trust God with your attitude in a tough conversation. Faith is deciding to believe He’ll provide, even when your budget looks thin. Faith is remembering you’re never alone, even when you feel overlooked. Second Corinthians 5:7 (NIV) says, “ For we live by faith, not by sight. ” Notice it doesn’t say “visit by faith” or “use faith once in a while.” It says live. Faith was always meant to be your way of life. Small Steps, Strong Roots Faith doesn’t usually grow in leaps; it grows in steps. Little, steady decisions that put your trust in God day after day. Opening your Bible instead of scrolling on your phone first thing in the morning Speaking truth over yourself when your feelings want to run the show Praying before making a decision instead of relying only on logic These may not seem dramatic, but they lay a strong foundation. And just like a tree with deep roots, your faith will keep you standing strong when storms come. God Is Faithful, Even When Life Isn’t Here’s the best part: your faith doesn’t rest on your ability to figure everything out. It rests on God’s ability to be faithful. And He is. Always. When you feel shaky, remember this: God is steady. When you feel uncertain, remember this: His promises are sure. When you feel small, remember this: faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains. You don’t need giant faith for God to move. You just need real faith in a giant God. Faith That Shows Up in Action Faith isn’t just belief in your heart; it’s trust that shows up in your choices. James 2:17 says, faith without works is dead, which means faith comes alive when you act on it. That could look like forgiving when it’s hard, giving when it feels impossible, or stepping into an opportunity that scares you, but you know God is calling you to. Every time you take action in faith, you’re making a declaration: “God, I trust You more than my feelings, more than my circumstances, and more than what I see.” That kind of faith not only changes your life, but it also inspires others to believe. A Simple Prayer to Start With “Lord, thank You that faith isn’t complicated. Teach me to live by faith in the small things and the big things. I trust You with my today, my tomorrow, and every detail of my life. Strengthen my heart and remind me that You are faithful. In Jesus’s name, amen.” Take This with You Faith isn’t a moment. It’s a mindset. It’s not about pretending life is easy. It’s about trusting God, no matter what life looks like. Friend, you don’t need to wait for a crisis to practice faith. You can start today, right where you are, with whatever you’re carrying. Take a step. Speak His Word. Trust His heart. Because faith isn’t just for the extraordinary, it’s for the everyday. And your everyday is exactly where God loves to show up.

Everyday Healing: God Cares About the Little Things

By Gary Keesee • August 15, 2025
Reading Time 2 mins 49 secs – Okay, let’s take a breath. Not everything has to be heavy, and healing doesn’t have to feel impossible or mysterious. Sometimes, we just need to be reminded that God actually wants us to feel better. Yes, you included. God Cares About How You Feel We can get so used to pushing through that we forget God never designed us to live burned out, worn out, or always dealing with pain. Third John (NIV) 1:2b says, “ I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well .” God’s heart is not just that we survive life. His heart is that we thrive—spirit, soul, and body. That includes your sleep. That includes your energy. That includes your mind and your moods. Healing Isn’t Just for Emergencies Most of us wait to think about healing until something significant goes wrong. A diagnosis. A surgery. A crisis. However, healing is an integral part of your daily life as a believer. You don’t have to wait for something to fall apart to lean into God’s promises. It’s kind of like drinking water; your body needs it regularly, not just when you're dehydrated. The Word is the same. It brings strength, clarity, and peace to your health before the storm hits. You’re allowed to believe in a life where you’re not constantly recovering—you’re well. Small Shifts, Big Results Maybe you’ve been dealing with something for a while—nothing catastrophic, just something that lingers. A chronic ache. Fatigue. Brain fog. A stress habit that’s hard to shake. Can I encourage you? You don’t have to settle for “just getting by.” Start speaking life over your body. Make simple changes in faith; walk a little more, drink more water, eat a bit better, get quiet with God. Healing isn’t always dramatic. Sometimes, it happens gently. Daily. Gradually. The power of God isn’t always loud, but it’s always effective. The Best Kind of Doctor He doesn’t rush your appointment. He’s never stumped by your symptoms. And He doesn’t hand you a bill at the end. He simply says, “Come to Me.” Come tired. Come unsure. Come with your questions. And He’ll give you rest (Matthew 11:28). Yes, He heals in big, miraculous ways—but He also heals in little moments of laughter, sunlight, worship, and truth. Let’s Make This Simple Healing isn’t about performance. It’s about proximity—staying close to the Healer. So, take the pressure off today. You’re not failing if you’re still waiting. You’re not disqualified if you’ve had some doubts. You’re growing. You’re learning. And most of all, you’re loved. Let healing be a conversation you have with God, not a crisis you fear. Let it be part of your everyday life with Him, not just a 911 prayer when things feel scary. A Simple Prayer to Start With “Lord, thank You that You care about every part of me. You know when I’m tired, hurting, anxious, or overwhelmed. Thank You for being my Healer, not just in emergencies but in the everyday. I receive Your peace and Your promises. I speak life over my body and my mind today, in Jesus’s name. Amen.” Take This with You Healing doesn’t have to feel far away or hard to reach. It’s not reserved for the super spiritual or the desperate. It’s available, it’s real, and it’s for right now. You don’t have to make it complicated. Just take one step. Open the Word, talk to God, speak life over yourself, and trust that He’s working behind the scenes. You don’t have to live in survival mode. You were made for wholeness. And friend? You’re allowed to feel better.

Faith Walks Before It Sees

By Gary Keesee • July 14, 2025
Reading Time 3 mins 46 secs – Picture this. You’re standing at the edge of a foggy path that winds through a forest. You’ve never walked this path before. You can’t see more than a few feet ahead. There are no signs. No map. No flashlight. Just a still, quiet voice inside telling you to start walking. Would you? Most people wouldn’t. They’d wait until the fog clears. Until the way is visible. Until they feel “sure.” But that’s not how the Kingdom works. Friend, faith walks before it sees. Hebrews 11:1 (NIV) tells us this plainly: Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Not what we can see. Not what we understand. Not what’s guaranteed. Faith is walking when it feels like you’re walking blind, but you’re actually walking guided. Let’s talk about Abraham for a second. God said to him, “...Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you” (Genesis 12:1, NIV). God didn’t show Abraham the land first. He didn’t explain all the details. He didn’t promise a step-by-step plan. God simply said, “ Go, ” and Abraham went. He didn’t argue. He didn’t delay. He didn’t ask for the weather report or route details. He trusted the voice. He walked before he saw. And because of that one step, a generational promise was unlocked. Now, let’s fast forward to the New Testament, to the story found in Matthew 14. Jesus came walking on water in the middle of the night, and Peter saw Him. Peter said, “Lord, if it’s really You, tell me to come.” And Jesus said, “Come.” What did Peter do? He stepped out of the boat and onto the water. Pause and think about that. Peter walked on water—not because he had magic in his feet but because he trusted the One who called him forward. Peter walked before he saw. Yes, he started to sink when he looked at the waves, but before that, he did what no other human besides Jesus had done: he walked on water by faith. Friend, your boat might feel safer. It might feel familiar. But if God is calling you out of it, staying there is more dangerous than stepping forward. Let’s get real for a second. There are seasons when God will not show you the full picture, on purpose. Why? Because if He showed you everything, you’d try to control it instead of trusting Him with it. Faith is trusting His character when you can’t see His hand. It’s saying yes without having every answer. It’s building the ark before the rain comes. It’s marching around Jericho before the walls fall. It’s digging a ditch before there’s a drop of rain. That’s the Kingdom. Here’s what the Bible says: “For we live by faith, not by sight,” (2 Corinthians 5:7, NIV). That’s not a metaphor. That’s a lifestyle. You don’t wait until all your fear is gone to obey. You don’t wait until you’re certain to trust. It means you don’t wait until your finances line up perfectly to give. You walk before you see. Let’s look at one more example. In Acts 9, Saul, who later became Paul, was traveling to Damascus while persecuting Christians when, suddenly, a blinding light stopped him. Jesus spoke directly to him, and Saul was blinded. God then instructed a man named Ananias to go and pray for Saul and restore his sight. Ananias was hesitant because he knew Saul’s reputation for harming believers. Despite his doubts and without any guarantees, Ananias obeyed and went to Saul. He stepped out in faith before knowing the outcome. That single act of obedience set the stage for Paul’s powerful ministry and the writing of much of the New Testament. So, let me ask you… Where is God asking you to walk, before you see? To step into a calling that scares you? To give up something you’ve leaned on for security? To trust Him with your finances? To forgive someone you haven’t gotten an apology from? Whatever it is, I want you to hear this. You don’t have to see the outcome to take the next step. You don’t have to understand the entire path to move forward in obedience. Faith walks before it sees. That’s where the miracles are. That’s where the provision is. That’s where peace is waiting. Your comfort zone won’t get you there. But your obedience will. God doesn’t need your full understanding. He needs your full surrender. So today, let this be your reminder… You don’t have to feel brave. You just have to follow. Even in the fog. Even in the unknown. Even when it doesn’t make sense. Because God is already in the place He’s calling you to. He’s gone ahead. He’s prepared the way. He’s waiting at your next step. So, take it. Because faith? It always walks before it sees.