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No One is Exempt. Be Quick About This.
Gary Keesee • Jun 23, 2020
It was Father’s Day, and I was frustrated.
We were visiting Drenda’s parents and going to church with them. We were running behind, and my son Tom, who was about four-years-old at the time, couldn’t find his shoes.
Not again. We don’t have time for this.
Tom was always losing his shoes. It was the last straw. A four-year-old should know better, right?
His big sister found his shoes, and we loaded into our van to get to church. Tom was in the backseat still crying. At the time, I remember thinking it was good for him. He needed to learn a lesson.
Man, the Holy Spirit completely nailed me as the pastor read from God’s Word and shared what it meant to be a good father. The Holy Spirit whispered to me, Gary, you have a problem. You have to deal with this.
Then, I was the one crying. And I was the first one at the altar. I knew I needed help. I knew I needed God to teach me how to be a good father.
Service ended, and we were waiting for the children to be released. I spotted Tom right away. He was jumping up and down in the crowd of kids.
He was looking for me.
When he spotted me, his little face just lit up, and he ran directly to me and hugged my leg and started crying again.
Now, this is where I always fall apart when I tell this story. Because even after all of these years, it’s still a painful reminder of the way I was.
Tom looked up at me and said, “Daddy, I’m sorry I lost my shoe.”
Then, Tom showed me what was in his little hand.
The little guy had drawn me a Father’s Day picture to try to make me happy, to try to make me happy with him.
I was so wrong.
I picked Tom up and hugged him and told him, “No, Tom. Your daddy is wrong. I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”
This lesson I learned the hard way—ask for forgiveness and forgive—goes hand-in-hand with Lesson #4 from 6 Things I Learned the Hard Way, “You can’t do it alone.” Because people get on each other’s nerves. We don’t see eye-to-eye. We talk too much. We get things wrong. We do things that offend each other.
We must be quick to ask for forgiveness and quick to forgive.
Why?
Unforgiveness stops the Kingdom of God in your life. That alone should prevent forgiving others from ever being optional for you.
In Matthew 18:21-35, Jesus tells the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant.
And if stopping the Kingdom from advancing in your life, separating yourself from God, and giving the enemy an advantage over you aren’t enough to make you go around forgiving everyone for everything, you should also know that unforgiveness is poison. It will eat at you from the inside out like a spiritual cancer. It will affect your health and every other relationship in your life whether you intend it to or not.
It’s life and death.
Jesus told us to pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12) And He didn’t mean financial debts.
We’re expected to love others. There are multiple Scriptures that also tell us to feed our enemies, do good to those who hate us, bless them that curse us, and do good to those who mistreat us. Why? Because if you can feed someone and do good toward them, it demonstrates that you have no unforgiveness toward them.
See, Satan doesn’t have to tempt you to murder someone or steal. He just has to get you offended and walking in unforgiveness. Then, he has you outside of love and outside of God’s legal jurisdiction. That’s why 1 Peter 3 says that husbands and wives need to walk in love with each other and not to let unforgiveness hinder their prayers.
We have the potential to pick up an offense every single day, multiple times a day—in traffic, with our family and friends, at our jobs, in line at the post office. In fact, offense is the most effective way the enemy pulls people out of the Kingdom of God’s legal jurisdiction. And he’s not going to stop trying. He’ll keep using people to try to get you walking in unforgiveness, and he’ll use you to offend others. No one is exempt. He even tried it with Jesus.
Don’t give in.
We were visiting Drenda’s parents and going to church with them. We were running behind, and my son Tom, who was about four-years-old at the time, couldn’t find his shoes.
Not again. We don’t have time for this.
Tom was always losing his shoes. It was the last straw. A four-year-old should know better, right?
So, I talked to Tom, and I was harsh. I didn’t use bad language, but I did say things like I can’t believe you always do this, and why can’t you just....
He cried.
My words and actions made Tom cry. He cried hard.
His big sister found his shoes, and we loaded into our van to get to church. Tom was in the backseat still crying. At the time, I remember thinking it was good for him. He needed to learn a lesson.
So, he went in to the kids area at church still crying, and I went in to the adult area without us saying a word to each other.
Remember, it was Father's Day?
Then, I was the one crying. And I was the first one at the altar. I knew I needed help. I knew I needed God to teach me how to be a good father.
Service ended, and we were waiting for the children to be released. I spotted Tom right away. He was jumping up and down in the crowd of kids.
He was looking for me.
When he spotted me, his little face just lit up, and he ran directly to me and hugged my leg and started crying again.
Now, this is where I always fall apart when I tell this story. Because even after all of these years, it’s still a painful reminder of the way I was.
Tom looked up at me and said, “Daddy, I’m sorry I lost my shoe.”
The little guy had sat through the whole church service thinking there was something wrong with him; that his daddy was mad at him; that he can never get things right. I had made him feel condemned because he misplaced his shoes.
I can’t even find my keys a lot of days and I made a four-year-old feel condemned.
Then, Tom showed me what was in his little hand.
The little guy had drawn me a Father’s Day picture to try to make me happy, to try to make me happy with him.
I was so wrong.
I picked Tom up and hugged him and told him, “No, Tom. Your daddy is wrong. I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”
This lesson I learned the hard way—ask for forgiveness and forgive—goes hand-in-hand with Lesson #4 from 6 Things I Learned the Hard Way, “You can’t do it alone.” Because people get on each other’s nerves. We don’t see eye-to-eye. We talk too much. We get things wrong. We do things that offend each other.
We must be quick to ask for forgiveness and quick to forgive.
Why?
Jesus instructed us in Mark 11:22-25 to:
Have faith in God. I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
Unforgiveness stops the Kingdom of God in your life. That alone should prevent forgiving others from ever being optional for you.
In Matthew 18:21-35, Jesus tells the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant.
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
"The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.'
The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.
"His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'
"But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.
When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.
"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.
Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?'
In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”
You and I are represented by the servant who had all of his debt forgiven.
And, just like that guy, we have absolutely no excuse not to forgive others after all that we’ve been forgiven for.
If we don’t forgive, we separate ourselves from God and give Satan an advantage over us (2 Corinthians 2:10-11).
And if stopping the Kingdom from advancing in your life, separating yourself from God, and giving the enemy an advantage over you aren’t enough to make you go around forgiving everyone for everything, you should also know that unforgiveness is poison. It will eat at you from the inside out like a spiritual cancer. It will affect your health and every other relationship in your life whether you intend it to or not.
It’s life and death.
You must deal with it on both
sides. Ephesians 4:26-27 says not to let the sun go down on your anger or give the devil any such foothold or opportunity.
Say you’re sorry to those you’ve hurt or offended, and forgive others quickly when you’ve been hurt or offended, whether they’ve said they were sorry or not.
Jesus told us to pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12) And He didn’t mean financial debts.
Romans 13:8-10 says,
Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
We’re expected to love others. There are multiple Scriptures that also tell us to feed our enemies, do good to those who hate us, bless them that curse us, and do good to those who mistreat us. Why? Because if you can feed someone and do good toward them, it demonstrates that you have no unforgiveness toward them.
See, Satan doesn’t have to tempt you to murder someone or steal. He just has to get you offended and walking in unforgiveness. Then, he has you outside of love and outside of God’s legal jurisdiction. That’s why 1 Peter 3 says that husbands and wives need to walk in love with each other and not to let unforgiveness hinder their prayers.
We have the potential to pick up an offense every single day, multiple times a day—in traffic, with our family and friends, at our jobs, in line at the post office. In fact, offense is the most effective way the enemy pulls people out of the Kingdom of God’s legal jurisdiction. And he’s not going to stop trying. He’ll keep using people to try to get you walking in unforgiveness, and he’ll use you to offend others. No one is exempt. He even tried it with Jesus.
Don’t give in.
Ask God to help you overlook offenses and be quick to ask for forgiveness and forgive.
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Excerpted from Gary's book 6 Things I Learned the Hard Way, a small book guaranteed to make a big impact on your life.
Reading Time 3 mins 43 secs – Are you happy right now? Or are you feeling a little grumpy, or negative, or sorry for yourself? We’ve all been there. Years ago, I had one of those months. Yes, I said months , not days. I was negative. I was feeling sorry for myself. The weight and pressures of life and certain situations were bearing down on me. For some reason, during that time, I went to a conference I really didn’t feel like going to, and the speaker got up and said he was going to talk about being thankful. Great , I thought. Just what I want to hear. What I really wanted was for someone to join me in my pity party. But that wasn’t happening. Because God knew that wasn’t what I needed. He knew I needed someone to tell me the truth. See, I had taken my eyes off of all of the blessings of God. I had stopped remembering all of the amazing times He had come through for me. I had taken my focus off of His promises and put it on my problems. That message was just what I needed. The Holy Spirit dealt with me right then about my heart and how I had been ungrateful. I had to repent. God set me free that day. Here’s the thing: studies show that when you’re happy and thankful , you have 17% more friends. When you’re happy, you live longer and you have less health problems like heart attacks, strokes, colds, the flu, and even pain. Being grateful also strengthens your emotions, makes you more optimistic and less self-centered, improves your sleep, increases your self-esteem and your energy, helps you bounce back after a setback, reduces feelings of envy, helps your marriage, makes you look better, and makes you more productive. Proverbs 17:22 (KJV) says, “ A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones .” See that? Happiness is like medicine. Discouragement sucks the life out of you. Are you reading this and thinking, “ Gary, you don’t know what I’m going through. I have serious problems” ? I understand. But here’s the thing: happiness is not circumstantial. Happiness is a choice you make. I hear it all the time… “Gary, you don’t understand. I hate my house.” Sell it. “Gary, you don’t get it. I hate my job.” Quit it. Find a new one. “Gary, I just hate my life.” CHANGE it. You’re not stuck. You have options. Every single day, you make choices to do something or NOT do something. And you have plenty of reasons to be happy. Stop thinking you can only be happy when everything seems “perfect.” Because “perfect” is really rare, and I do mean really rare. In fact, odds are there will always be something in your life that isn’t “perfect.” The good news is, no matter what you go through or deal with in life, you can still be thankful and happy, because you can always trust God despite your circumstances. Philippians 4:6 (NIV) says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God .” Wait. Did you see what that said? Notice it didn’t say, “Only be anxious about the big things you can’t handle on your own.” Nope. It says don’t be anxious about anything . It also says by prayer—and with thanksgiving —present your requests to God. That means you should be thanking Him for all He’s already done and for what He’s about to do in your situation. You should be thanking Him before your answer shows up, because He’s faithful and good. Look at Judges 20:19–25. There, we see the nation of Israel suffering great loss after a huge battle. They had lost 22,000 men. 22,000. Can you even imagine? I’m sure you’ll agree that that was a really bad day. Then, on the second day of battle, they lost 18,000 more men. 40,000 men lost in two days. The Bible tells us they took a day off at that point. They stopped and regrouped. Then, in verse 26, we see that the entire army presented offerings of thanksgiving to God. Things had gone really wrong, and they needed to remind themselves that God was for them, that He is good and faithful, that He was with them. And the next day, they went out and won the battle. So, what about you, friend? Do you need to stop? Do you need to take your mind off the negative and remind yourself that God is for you, that He is good and faithful, and that He is with you?
Reading Time 2 mins 13 secs – In John 6, we read the story of Jesus feeding 5,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish. Do you know it? It’s where we see Jesus teaching the disciples how to release the Kingdom of God into the earth realm. Basically, a large crowd was following Jesus, listening to Him teach, and watching Him perform miracles. It got to a point where the people needed to eat, and Jesus asked the disciples what they planned to feed the people. Of course, Jesus knew the disciples would freak out. They couldn’t feed 5,000 people. In fact, they started talking about how it would take more than half a year’s wages to buy just a bite for that many people. Jesus was teaching the disciples, and He was teaching us— the Kingdom of God has all the answers you need . How can you release the Kingdom of God into your life? Here are the five steps Jesus took. 1. Look at what you have. Jesus asked the disciples what they had to feed the people. What do you have in your life that you can give God to work with? Jesus multiplied bread into bread and fish into fish. What do you need multiplied in your life? Find some of it. That’s your seed. Also, remember that money can be named. You don’t sow money to believe for more paper or digital money. Money represents your life and can be named to be the thing you need multiplied. 2. Make sure you’re in faith. “To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see” (Hebrews 11:1, GNT). You have to know how to judge whether or not you’re in faith. How? Do you have the right picture? When you close your eyes, what do you see? Do you see yourself with the thing you’re believing for? Can you defend your position? Why do you believe it? Prove it! Because you can be sure that between the “Amen” and the “There it is!” the enemy is going to contend for it, so you better be able to defend it. Do you have joy, expectancy, and peace? Are you in agreement with your spouse? 3. Confess over what you have, and release it in faith. Be specific. Say exactly what you’re believing for and release the seed to God. 4. Get the plan from God. Be ready for new direction, new ideas, and new concepts by revelation from the Holy Spirit. Carry a notepad and a pen. Write everything down. 5. Act quickly! When God gives you the plan, MOVE! It’s wise to have counselors and get wisdom, but you need to act swiftly on any direction you receive from the Holy Spirit.
Reading Time 2 mins 34 secs – How can you make sure you’re equipped for the growth coming your way this year? Here are my 10 steps to posture yourself for opportunity and success. 1. Ask yourself how you’re handling your current responsibilities. Don’t run from your responsibilities. No matter where you are or what you’re doing, you should be a success. People will still see the evidence of God even if you think you’re in the wrong spot. 2. Detox your life of the things that keep you from having time to think. We live in a fast-paced world. There are plenty of things that can keep you distracted. But it’s in the moments that you stop to think that you’ll find ways to solve problems, and that’s where the opportunities are. So figure out what is consuming your time. Start saying no to some things. Find time to think. 3. Don’t hang around people who are always losing. I know people hit rough spots, but if the people in your life are chronically losing, it’s time to expand your circle. Hang around people who are better than you are, who don’t see things as impossible, and who have vision. It may be uncomfortable for you, but their influence will cause you to think differently. 4. Write down EVERY idea that you have, no matter how strange it seems. Most people filter opportunities and ideas through what they perceive their ability to be. This means most people discard ideas by the dozens because they don’t think they can do them. But God isn’t limited to what you know how to do. The ideas He gives you might seem so weird to you that you can’t process them fully. Write them down so you have time to think about them. 5. Research. Research. Repeat. You don’t need to know how to do something; you need to know how to learn how to do it. Research until you find what you’re looking for. 6. Count the cost before you jump. A lot of Christians hear God and jump out too soon, resulting in catastrophe. There are seasons for everything. God will prepare you for where He wants you to go. Be patient. 7. Always be in agreement with your spouse. Never, ever march out into battle without your spouse being in total agreement and your faith aligned. 8. Ask God for direction. Ask Him to help you, to show you where to go, and what to do. And always remember that prophecy from other people shouldn’t lead you; it should only confirm what God has already said to you. 9. Commit to never quit. Quitting is not an option. Once you’ve moved, don’t move again until God speaks to you. Stay with it. Walk it out. Don’t quit. So many people have so much potential, but they get uncomfortable and they quit. If you want to win, you should always be stretching. 10. Get ready to embrace bigger things. Your ability to see the big picture will keep growing as you change and grow on the inside. You’ll pick up on even more opportunities. For more principles, check out this FREE video on success.
As an author, speaker, television host, and successful entrepreneur for more than 27 years, Gary Keesee has helped thousands of families and individuals realize their God-given potential.
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