No One is Exempt. Be Quick About This.
Gary Keesee • June 23, 2020
It was Father’s Day, and I was frustrated.
We were visiting Drenda’s parents and going to church with them. We were running behind, and my son Tom, who was about four-years-old at the time, couldn’t find his shoes.
Not again. We don’t have time for this.
Tom was always losing his shoes. It was the last straw. A four-year-old should know better, right?
His big sister found his shoes, and we loaded into our van to get to church. Tom was in the backseat still crying. At the time, I remember thinking it was good for him. He needed to learn a lesson.
Man, the Holy Spirit completely nailed me as the pastor read from God’s Word and shared what it meant to be a good father. The Holy Spirit whispered to me, Gary, you have a problem. You have to deal with this.
Then, I was the one crying. And I was the first one at the altar. I knew I needed help. I knew I needed God to teach me how to be a good father.
Service ended, and we were waiting for the children to be released. I spotted Tom right away. He was jumping up and down in the crowd of kids.
He was looking for me.
When he spotted me, his little face just lit up, and he ran directly to me and hugged my leg and started crying again.
Now, this is where I always fall apart when I tell this story. Because even after all of these years, it’s still a painful reminder of the way I was.
Tom looked up at me and said, “Daddy, I’m sorry I lost my shoe.”
Then, Tom showed me what was in his little hand.
The little guy had drawn me a Father’s Day picture to try to make me happy, to try to make me happy with him.
I was so wrong.
I picked Tom up and hugged him and told him, “No, Tom. Your daddy is wrong. I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”
This lesson I learned the hard way—ask for forgiveness and forgive—goes hand-in-hand with Lesson #4 from 6 Things I Learned the Hard Way, “You can’t do it alone.” Because people get on each other’s nerves. We don’t see eye-to-eye. We talk too much. We get things wrong. We do things that offend each other.
We must be quick to ask for forgiveness and quick to forgive.
Why?
Unforgiveness stops the Kingdom of God in your life. That alone should prevent forgiving others from ever being optional for you.
In Matthew 18:21-35, Jesus tells the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant.
And if stopping the Kingdom from advancing in your life, separating yourself from God, and giving the enemy an advantage over you aren’t enough to make you go around forgiving everyone for everything, you should also know that unforgiveness is poison. It will eat at you from the inside out like a spiritual cancer. It will affect your health and every other relationship in your life whether you intend it to or not.
It’s life and death.
Jesus told us to pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12) And He didn’t mean financial debts.
We’re expected to love others. There are multiple Scriptures that also tell us to feed our enemies, do good to those who hate us, bless them that curse us, and do good to those who mistreat us. Why? Because if you can feed someone and do good toward them, it demonstrates that you have no unforgiveness toward them.
See, Satan doesn’t have to tempt you to murder someone or steal. He just has to get you offended and walking in unforgiveness. Then, he has you outside of love and outside of God’s legal jurisdiction. That’s why 1 Peter 3 says that husbands and wives need to walk in love with each other and not to let unforgiveness hinder their prayers.
We have the potential to pick up an offense every single day, multiple times a day—in traffic, with our family and friends, at our jobs, in line at the post office. In fact, offense is the most effective way the enemy pulls people out of the Kingdom of God’s legal jurisdiction. And he’s not going to stop trying. He’ll keep using people to try to get you walking in unforgiveness, and he’ll use you to offend others. No one is exempt. He even tried it with Jesus.
Don’t give in.
We were visiting Drenda’s parents and going to church with them. We were running behind, and my son Tom, who was about four-years-old at the time, couldn’t find his shoes.
Not again. We don’t have time for this.
Tom was always losing his shoes. It was the last straw. A four-year-old should know better, right?
So, I talked to Tom, and I was harsh. I didn’t use bad language, but I did say things like I can’t believe you always do this, and why can’t you just....
He cried.
My words and actions made Tom cry. He cried hard.
His big sister found his shoes, and we loaded into our van to get to church. Tom was in the backseat still crying. At the time, I remember thinking it was good for him. He needed to learn a lesson.
So, he went in to the kids area at church still crying, and I went in to the adult area without us saying a word to each other.
Remember, it was Father's Day?
Then, I was the one crying. And I was the first one at the altar. I knew I needed help. I knew I needed God to teach me how to be a good father.
Service ended, and we were waiting for the children to be released. I spotted Tom right away. He was jumping up and down in the crowd of kids.
He was looking for me.
When he spotted me, his little face just lit up, and he ran directly to me and hugged my leg and started crying again.
Now, this is where I always fall apart when I tell this story. Because even after all of these years, it’s still a painful reminder of the way I was.
Tom looked up at me and said, “Daddy, I’m sorry I lost my shoe.”
The little guy had sat through the whole church service thinking there was something wrong with him; that his daddy was mad at him; that he can never get things right. I had made him feel condemned because he misplaced his shoes.
I can’t even find my keys a lot of days and I made a four-year-old feel condemned.
Then, Tom showed me what was in his little hand.
The little guy had drawn me a Father’s Day picture to try to make me happy, to try to make me happy with him.
I was so wrong.
I picked Tom up and hugged him and told him, “No, Tom. Your daddy is wrong. I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”
This lesson I learned the hard way—ask for forgiveness and forgive—goes hand-in-hand with Lesson #4 from 6 Things I Learned the Hard Way, “You can’t do it alone.” Because people get on each other’s nerves. We don’t see eye-to-eye. We talk too much. We get things wrong. We do things that offend each other.
We must be quick to ask for forgiveness and quick to forgive.
Why?
Jesus instructed us in Mark 11:22-25 to:
Have faith in God. I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
Unforgiveness stops the Kingdom of God in your life. That alone should prevent forgiving others from ever being optional for you.
In Matthew 18:21-35, Jesus tells the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant.
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
"The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.'
The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.
"His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'
"But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.
When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.
"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.
Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?'
In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”
You and I are represented by the servant who had all of his debt forgiven.
And, just like that guy, we have absolutely no excuse not to forgive others after all that we’ve been forgiven for.
If we don’t forgive, we separate ourselves from God and give Satan an advantage over us (2 Corinthians 2:10-11).
And if stopping the Kingdom from advancing in your life, separating yourself from God, and giving the enemy an advantage over you aren’t enough to make you go around forgiving everyone for everything, you should also know that unforgiveness is poison. It will eat at you from the inside out like a spiritual cancer. It will affect your health and every other relationship in your life whether you intend it to or not.
It’s life and death.
You must deal with it on both
sides. Ephesians 4:26-27 says not to let the sun go down on your anger or give the devil any such foothold or opportunity.
Say you’re sorry to those you’ve hurt or offended, and forgive others quickly when you’ve been hurt or offended, whether they’ve said they were sorry or not.
Jesus told us to pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12) And He didn’t mean financial debts.
Romans 13:8-10 says,
Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
We’re expected to love others. There are multiple Scriptures that also tell us to feed our enemies, do good to those who hate us, bless them that curse us, and do good to those who mistreat us. Why? Because if you can feed someone and do good toward them, it demonstrates that you have no unforgiveness toward them.
See, Satan doesn’t have to tempt you to murder someone or steal. He just has to get you offended and walking in unforgiveness. Then, he has you outside of love and outside of God’s legal jurisdiction. That’s why 1 Peter 3 says that husbands and wives need to walk in love with each other and not to let unforgiveness hinder their prayers.
We have the potential to pick up an offense every single day, multiple times a day—in traffic, with our family and friends, at our jobs, in line at the post office. In fact, offense is the most effective way the enemy pulls people out of the Kingdom of God’s legal jurisdiction. And he’s not going to stop trying. He’ll keep using people to try to get you walking in unforgiveness, and he’ll use you to offend others. No one is exempt. He even tried it with Jesus.
Don’t give in.
Ask God to help you overlook offenses and be quick to ask for forgiveness and forgive.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Excerpted from Gary's book 6 Things I Learned the Hard Way, a small book guaranteed to make a big impact on your life.
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