Nasty Will Get You Nowhere. What Should You Do Instead?
Drenda Keesee • September 1, 2020
There I was getting my nails done when I remembered…
I had left a pan of boiling vinegar on the stove! Almost TWO HOURS AGO!
FIRE!
Would the fire department be at our house for the SECOND TIME in the same week?!
You’ll want to read this whole crazy story in my brand new book, Nasty Gets Us Nowhere, but I want to share it with you here because it really shows something we ALL have done, and maybe still do...
...something critically important that we need to talk about, especially right now, with the direction our culture has been going.
I was away from Gary ministering in Puerto Rico for a Happy Life kids’ outreach event, helping restore hope to a community that had been ravaged by hurricanes, when I got a call from our home security company.
Mrs. Keesee, a fire has been detected in your home.
What?!? A FIRE?!?
I knew Gary was supposed to be home, but the home security company hadn’t been able to reach him. I told them that he might be deer hunting and told them to go ahead and dispatch the fire department. I was concerned and I prayed, but knew there was nothing else I could do from that far away. So I turned my focus back to the children’s event.
Later, Gary texted me that everything was okay. He told me he had just started to cook his breakfast and left it to simmer while he stepped outside to hang up his deer. What he didn’t realize was that the simmer setting was hot enough to burn his food, let alone start a fire.
A few days later, Gary picked me up from the airport and we had breakfast and did some much overdue Christmas shopping. When we arrived home that evening, I knew right away that something was terribly wrong.
Smoke.
If you’ve ever burnt a bag of popcorn in the microwave, you know what our house smelled like.
Well, this smoke stench was WAY WORSE than burnt popcorn, and it was in every room of our house.
I couldn’t hide that I was annoyed. It was a week before Christmas and the house smelled terrible.
“I can’t believe you almost caught our house on fire! I better not leave you home alone again,” I teased Gary.
I knew he was already embarrassed, but he could’ve burnt the house down a week before Christmas! I thought I needed to remind him of the lesson he had already learned. Ugh.
The rest of the evening, I searched for ways to get the smell out of our house. Several websites suggested boiling white vinegar with water, so that’s what I did. The following morning, I did it again, but it wasn’t helping. Our house still reeked with that awful, smoky smell.
Later that morning, while I was getting my nails done, my nail technician asked if anything exciting had happened that week. I began to tell her about the kids’ event in Puerto Rico and then Gary’s pan fire. (I don’t make it a practice to share my husband’s mistakes, but with the smell still stuck up my nose, the fire was still very much on my mind.)
FIRE!!!!
That’s the moment I remembered I had left a pan of boiling vinegar on the stove! Almost two hours ago!
You’ll have to read the rest of the story in Nasty Gets Us Nowhere, but I will tell you this:
Our house smelled worse than ever.
And what did I learn?
I had done the SAME thing Gary did. I almost burned our house down.
I had teased him and shamed him a bit for what he had done, and now I had done the exact same thing.
We do this same thing all too often—we judge, blame, and faultfind, but we make the same mistakes others make or do the same things we complain about them doing.
Rather than seeing ourselves clearly, we MAGNIFY and emphasize the failures and shortcomings of others but minimize our own.
And sometimes we get downright nasty with each other.
Think about it. How many times have you been trying to get your point across with a neighbor, a coworker, the server who messed up your dinner order, the customer service rep on the phone, the combative person on Facebook…?
Or maybe you’re always kind to the people outside of your home, but it’s a slippery slope with the people you live with and are supposed to love the most?
The bottom line is that being nasty gets YOU nowhere.
AND NASTY ISN’T GOING TO GET US ANYWHERE AS BELIEVERS RIGHT NOW IN OUR NATION AND IN THIS CULTURE.
What WILL get us somewhere?
What will change things?
Is there ever a time you should be nasty?
I answer all of these questions and more in my brand new book, Nasty Gets Us Nowhere. But let me share this:
For us to see real change in our world, we MUST heal our fractures and unite as women and men succeeding together for the kingdom of God.
We are living in the hour in which God desires to pour out His Spirit on all the earth, through His sons and daughters, but it won’t happen unless women and men under His voice are unified for one purpose.
We can’t fulfill our God-ordained destiny without working together, and we MUST start in our marriages and families or we will never be able to impact our nation.
There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
(Galatians 3:28)
Friend, people are flawed and imperfect, but treating each other with nastiness is never the answer.
I know it’s been really easy, with everything going on in the world, to get caught up in emotions and to easily MAGNIFY and emphasize the failures and shortcomings of others.
We CAN succeed together… and much of our happiness depends on it. Working together won’t always be easy, but I believe with the grace of God backing you, it is possible!
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Marriage, and other relationships, don’t have to be hard. Drenda's brand new book, Nasty Gets Us Nowhere, promises to be one of the most thought-provoking books of the year. Learn how you can succeed with the men and women in your life! Get your copy here.
Reading Time 4 mins 6 secs – Thankfulness isn’t just good manners; it’s a spiritual posture. It’s how your faith stays strong, your heart stays aligned, and your life stays connected to what God is doing. In a world that constantly pulls on your emotions, drains your joy, and fills the air with fear and pressure, thanksgiving becomes how you stay connected to the victory Jesus has already won for you. Second Corinthians 2:14 reminds us that God always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through our lives, He spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of Him everywhere we go. That’s not just poetic language. That’s a description of your life in the Kingdom. You were designed to walk in victory, carry the fragrance of heaven into every room, walk in faith and not fear, and bring evidence of God’s goodness wherever you go. And the doorway into that life? A thankful heart. Thankfulness Is Your Position of Strength You don’t wait until you see victory to thank God. In the Kingdom of God, thankfulness comes before the breakthrough. First Corinthians 15:57 reminds us that God gives us victory through Jesus. Not someday, not eventually, but as a present, active reality. When you say, “Thank You, Lord, for leading me into victory in this situation,” you are aligning your heart with what God has already spoken. You are: Agreeing with His Word. Positioning yourself to receive. Stepping into alignment with His promises. Philippians 4:6 tells us to bring every request to God with thanksgiving. Gratitude is not the result of answered prayer; it’s part of how we pray. If someone handed you a check and you said, “I’ll see if it clears, and then I’ll thank you,” how eager would they be to bless you again? In the same way, when we approach God with “Father, thank You that You always lead me into victory,” we’re not pretending. We’re trusting His character before we see the outcome. That is faith. Gratitude Changes the Atmosphere You don’t just walk into a room; you carry an atmosphere. We’ve all stepped into places that felt heavy, tense, or anxious without anyone saying a word. But God designed you to carry something different: Peace instead of pressure Freedom instead of fear Victory instead of defeat A sound mind instead of anxiety When you adopt a posture of thanksgiving rather than one of complaint, your home changes, your conversations change. Psalm 100 reminds us that we enter God’s presence with thanksgiving and praise. Gratitude isn’t just something we do; it’s how we step into His presence and shift the atmosphere around us. How We Limit God When We Forget to Say “Thank You” Psalm 78 tells us that the people of Israel limited God not because His power failed but because they refused to agree with Him. God wanted to bless them. He had good plans for them. But instead of aligning with His promises, they complained, focused on what they saw instead of what He said, and talked more about giants than about God. Grumbling doesn’t just make you miserable; it closes your hands. Thankfulness opens them. The same is true for every promise in your life—provision, wisdom, direction, breakthrough, and peace. Ask yourself: Am I agreeing with God or resisting Him with my words? Do I talk more about the problem or about His promise? Have I been limiting God by withholding my thankfulness? Simple Ways to Practice Thankfulness Every Day You don’t have to wait for Sunday to live a thankful life. You can practice gratitude right where you are. Start with these 5 simple rhythms: Thank Him before you see the answer. When you pray, don’t just ask. Take time to thank the Lord that the answer to your promise is already yes. Guard the atmosphere of your home. If voices, media, or conversations are feeding fear and heaviness, turn them off. Make room for worship, the Word, and encouragement. Say “thank you” out loud. To God. To people. For big things and small things. Train your heart to respond with gratitude instead of suspicion or resistance. Worship on purpose. You don’t need a worship team to praise. Turn on worship in your car, your kitchen, your living room. Lift your voice. Let His presence fill your space. Check your heart often. If thankfulness and gratitude haven’t been on your heart much, don’t condemn yourself; just correct your course. Let God restore your joy. A Simple Prayer Father, Thank You that in Christ You always lead me into victory. I repent for every time I’ve complained, drifted, or agreed more with fear than with your Word. Today, I choose to be thankful. I say “yes” and “thank You” to Your promises, Your plans, and Your goodness. Restore to me the joy of my salvation. Lift off all heaviness. Fill me fresh with Your Spirit. Let my life carry peace instead of pressure, praise instead of complaining, faith instead of fear. I receive Your wisdom, Your strength, and Your direction for every situation I’m facing. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen.
Reading Time 2 mins 59 secs – Health isn’t just about how long you live; it’s about how well you live the life God’s called you to. You were created with a purpose, and your body is the vessel that carries that purpose forward. When your body is weary, your mind drifts, and your spirit feels disconnected, it becomes harder to walk in everything God has assigned to you. That’s why good health isn’t optional in the Kingdom. It’s stewardship. God Cares About How You Feel All through Scripture, God shows concern for His people’s well-being, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Jesus healed bodies, calmed minds, and restored people to community. Health in His Kingdom is wholeness, not just healing. It’s walking in peace instead of pressure, strength instead of survival. When you take care of your health, you’re not just maintaining your body; you’re honoring your Creator. Every time you rest when you need it, fuel your body with good food, or take a walk instead of worrying, you’re saying, “Lord, I trust you to sustain me.” Health Is a Faith Decision Faith and health are connected. When you believe God for provision, you also believe Him for energy, renewal, and longevity. Your health journey isn’t about control; it’s about alignment with the Holy Spirit. Romans 12:1 tells us to offer our bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God. That’s not a verse about restriction; it’s about devotion. Your body is a place where the Holy Spirit dwells, and how you care for it reflects your faith. Ask yourself: Am I fueling my body for the calling I’ve been given? Do my daily choices create strength or drain it? What does obedience look like in this area of my life right now? Small acts of obedience like drinking more water, sleeping enough, managing stress, and choosing gratitude are seeds of faith that produce lasting fruit. The Rhythms of Renewal God designed life in rhythms: day and night, work and rest, sowing and reaping. When you move with His rhythm, you live from rest instead of running on empty. Here are a few rhythms that restore strength: Rest intentionally. True rest is more than sleep; it’s trust. It’s the decision to stop striving and let God restore what effort cannot. Eat with awareness. Food was meant to nourish you, not control you. Choose what fuels your body for purpose rather than what comforts it in pressure. Move with joy. Exercise isn’t punishment, it’s a partnership. Every step, stretch, or breath can be an act of worship when done in gratitude. Renew your mind. A healthy body begins with healthy thoughts. Replace “I’m so tired” with “God strengthens me daily.” What you repeat, you begin to believe. When You Feel Stuck There will be days when progress feels invisible. Maybe you’re waiting for healing or battling habits that feel impossible to break. Don’t quit. God doesn’t measure health by perfection. Philippians 1:6 reminds us that He who began a good work in you will carry it to completion. As you continue showing up with faith, the results will follow. A Simple Prayer Father, thank you for giving me this body as a gift, not a burden. Teach me to care for it with wisdom and gratitude. Strengthen me to make choices that bring you glory. Renew my energy, restore my joy, and remind me that you are the source of my strength. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen. Remember This Health isn’t about chasing balance; it’s about choosing alignment. When your spirit leads, your soul settles, and your body follows. Walk with God, and you’ll find strength that doesn’t fade, energy that renews daily, and peace that carries you farther than willpower ever could.
Reading Time 3 mins 42 secs – When most people hear the word success, they picture a number in a bank account, a title on a door, or applause from a crowd. Those things aren’t wrong, but they’re not the whole story. Kingdom success is the fruit of living aligned with God’s presence, God’s purpose, and God’s principles. It’s success that sticks in your family, your finances, your calling, and your soul. What God Calls “Success” The Bible defines success as prospering in what God has assigned you to do. Joshua was told to keep God’s Word front and center. You shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. —Joshua 1:8b (NIV) Success begins with alignment, not achievement. When your ways line up with His ways, outcomes change. Success Grows Where Purpose Lives You weren’t designed to drift; you were designed to steward. Deuteronomy 8:18 says God gives you the power to create wealth—not so you can worship wealth but so you can build, bless, and advance His Kingdom. Purpose answers why you’re pursuing something. When your why is right, God can trust you with more. Ask yourself: What problem has God wired me to solve? Who gets helped when I win? How does this goal move God’s purpose forward? Three Pillars of Kingdom Success Presence – Success starts by seeking God first (Matthew 6:33). In His presence, you get clarity, courage, and correction. Purpose – Your assignment sets the target. Aimless motion is not momentum. Practice – Faith works when you work the principles. Plan, sow, and act; God multiplies. Principles That Produce God’s system isn’t random. There’s a time to plant seeds and a time to harvest. If you plant the right seeds consistently, a harvest is inevitable. In Proverbs 16:3, we’re reminded to commit whatever we do to the Lord, and He will establish our plans. Think like a steward and ask, “What have I been given?”(such as time, gifts, relationships, and ideas). Manage them with excellence. Choose excellence daily and do your work heartily as for the Lord, because excellence attracts opportunity. Prioritize wisdom by reading, learning, and surrounding yourself with people who sharpen you. Guard your words; there’s power in the words you speak, so take time to intentionally speak truth. Speak words that are in line with God’s promise rather than with fear. In Luke 16:10, we’re reminded to take faith steps, because small obedient steps multiply, and the servant that is faithful with little can be trusted with much. Break the Success Killers Break the success killers by refusing comparison, which steals both joy and peace. Instead, stay focused on running your own race and celebrating progress over perfection. Avoid hurrying, because quick fixes create fragile results, while patience and process create durable success. Replace excuses like “I can’t” with the empowering mindset of “How can I, with God’s help?” Finally, reject isolation, because lone wolf living limits growth, while community, mentors, and partners in purpose accelerate you. When you consistently choose these healthier patterns, you build the resilience and clarity needed to sustain long-term success. A Weekly Success Rhythm Seek (Daily): 10–15 minutes in the Word and prayer to align your heart and hear strategy. Plan (Weekly): Review your goals and priorities to ensure alignment. Decide your top three Kingdom outcomes for the week. Sow (Consistently): Give, serve, and invest in your skills. Measure (Weekly): What moved forward? What needs adjusting? Celebrate progress, then iterate. Rest (Sabbath): Rest is not wasted time; it’s faith in action . When Progress Feels Slow Psalm 1 paints a picture: a person planted by streams, bearing fruit in season . Not every day looks like a harvest day. Some days are root days. Stay planted. Keep sowing. Harvests have a schedule, and God is never late. A Simple Prayer Father, thank You for calling me to succeed Your way. Align my heart with Your presence, clarify my purpose, and teach me to practice Your principles with diligence and joy. I commit my plans to You. Give me wisdom, clarity, and strength to steward what You’ve placed in my hands. Use my success to bless others and advance Your Kingdom. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen. Carry This with You Success in the Kingdom isn’t a finish line; it’s a faithful life . Start where you are. Work with what you have. Obey what God says. Expect His favor. As you align with His presence, purpose, and principles, you’ll see results that last, results that outlive you, and point people to Him.