Nasty Will Get You Nowhere. What Should You Do Instead?
Drenda Keesee • September 1, 2020
There I was getting my nails done when I remembered…
I had left a pan of boiling vinegar on the stove! Almost TWO HOURS AGO!
FIRE!
Would the fire department be at our house for the SECOND TIME in the same week?!
You’ll want to read this whole crazy story in my brand new book, Nasty Gets Us Nowhere, but I want to share it with you here because it really shows something we ALL have done, and maybe still do...
...something critically important that we need to talk about, especially right now, with the direction our culture has been going.
I was away from Gary ministering in Puerto Rico for a Happy Life kids’ outreach event, helping restore hope to a community that had been ravaged by hurricanes, when I got a call from our home security company.
Mrs. Keesee, a fire has been detected in your home.
What?!? A FIRE?!?
I knew Gary was supposed to be home, but the home security company hadn’t been able to reach him. I told them that he might be deer hunting and told them to go ahead and dispatch the fire department. I was concerned and I prayed, but knew there was nothing else I could do from that far away. So I turned my focus back to the children’s event.
Later, Gary texted me that everything was okay. He told me he had just started to cook his breakfast and left it to simmer while he stepped outside to hang up his deer. What he didn’t realize was that the simmer setting was hot enough to burn his food, let alone start a fire.
A few days later, Gary picked me up from the airport and we had breakfast and did some much overdue Christmas shopping. When we arrived home that evening, I knew right away that something was terribly wrong.
Smoke.
If you’ve ever burnt a bag of popcorn in the microwave, you know what our house smelled like.
Well, this smoke stench was WAY WORSE than burnt popcorn, and it was in every room of our house.
I couldn’t hide that I was annoyed. It was a week before Christmas and the house smelled terrible.
“I can’t believe you almost caught our house on fire! I better not leave you home alone again,” I teased Gary.
I knew he was already embarrassed, but he could’ve burnt the house down a week before Christmas! I thought I needed to remind him of the lesson he had already learned. Ugh.
The rest of the evening, I searched for ways to get the smell out of our house. Several websites suggested boiling white vinegar with water, so that’s what I did. The following morning, I did it again, but it wasn’t helping. Our house still reeked with that awful, smoky smell.
Later that morning, while I was getting my nails done, my nail technician asked if anything exciting had happened that week. I began to tell her about the kids’ event in Puerto Rico and then Gary’s pan fire. (I don’t make it a practice to share my husband’s mistakes, but with the smell still stuck up my nose, the fire was still very much on my mind.)
FIRE!!!!
That’s the moment I remembered I had left a pan of boiling vinegar on the stove! Almost two hours ago!
You’ll have to read the rest of the story in Nasty Gets Us Nowhere, but I will tell you this:
Our house smelled worse than ever.
And what did I learn?
I had done the SAME thing Gary did. I almost burned our house down.
I had teased him and shamed him a bit for what he had done, and now I had done the exact same thing.
We do this same thing all too often—we judge, blame, and faultfind, but we make the same mistakes others make or do the same things we complain about them doing.
Rather than seeing ourselves clearly, we MAGNIFY and emphasize the failures and shortcomings of others but minimize our own.
And sometimes we get downright nasty with each other.
Think about it. How many times have you been trying to get your point across with a neighbor, a coworker, the server who messed up your dinner order, the customer service rep on the phone, the combative person on Facebook…?
Or maybe you’re always kind to the people outside of your home, but it’s a slippery slope with the people you live with and are supposed to love the most?
The bottom line is that being nasty gets YOU nowhere.
AND NASTY ISN’T GOING TO GET US ANYWHERE AS BELIEVERS RIGHT NOW IN OUR NATION AND IN THIS CULTURE.
What WILL get us somewhere?
What will change things?
Is there ever a time you should be nasty?
I answer all of these questions and more in my brand new book, Nasty Gets Us Nowhere. But let me share this:
For us to see real change in our world, we MUST heal our fractures and unite as women and men succeeding together for the kingdom of God.
We are living in the hour in which God desires to pour out His Spirit on all the earth, through His sons and daughters, but it won’t happen unless women and men under His voice are unified for one purpose.
We can’t fulfill our God-ordained destiny without working together, and we MUST start in our marriages and families or we will never be able to impact our nation.
There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
(Galatians 3:28)
Friend, people are flawed and imperfect, but treating each other with nastiness is never the answer.
I know it’s been really easy, with everything going on in the world, to get caught up in emotions and to easily MAGNIFY and emphasize the failures and shortcomings of others.
We CAN succeed together… and much of our happiness depends on it. Working together won’t always be easy, but I believe with the grace of God backing you, it is possible!
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Marriage, and other relationships, don’t have to be hard. Drenda's brand new book, Nasty Gets Us Nowhere, promises to be one of the most thought-provoking books of the year. Learn how you can succeed with the men and women in your life! Get your copy here.
Reading Time 5 mins 59 secs – Have you ever sensed God calling you toward something bigger than what you can accomplish on your own? Perhaps it was restoring a relationship, launching a business, serving in ministry, changing careers, or believing Him for healing, provision, or freedom. Yet as soon as you considered taking that first step, your mind filled with questions. How will this happen? Where will the resources come from? What if it doesn’t work? Those questions are familiar to every believer because God’s promises often lead us beyond what seems naturally possible. Left to ourselves, we tend to evaluate every opportunity by our own experience, abilities, and resources. But God’s Kingdom doesn’t operate according to human limitations. It operates by faith. Too many Christians spend years living in what Proverbs describes as “hope deferred,” waiting for circumstances to change while never stepping toward what God has already promised. God never intended for His children to simply admire His promises from a distance. He invites us to believe His Word, act on it, and experience His faithfulness firsthand. Every Promise Carries God’s Ability When God makes a promise, He never asks you to accomplish it through your own strength. His promises are not empty wishes or encouraging thoughts. They carry His power to accomplish exactly what He has spoken. Isaiah reminds us that God’s Word never returns empty but accomplishes the purpose for which He sends it. When God speaks, He has already considered every obstacle, every need, and every detail you cannot yet see. Nothing catches Him by surprise. That truth changes how we respond when God leads us into unfamiliar territory. Instead of asking, “How am I going to make this happen?” we begin asking, “Lord, what are You asking me to do next?” Faith doesn’t require us to have every answer before we obey. It simply requires us to trust the One who does. Faith Moves Before You See the Outcome Hebrews 1:1 tells us that “faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” God’s Word becomes the evidence that gives us confidence to move forward even when visible proof has not yet appeared. Throughout Scripture, we see this pattern repeated again and again. Peter had to cast his line before finding the coin in the fish’s mouth. Joshua and the priests stepped into the overflowing Jordan River before the waters parted. The disciples seated thousands of hungry people before the loaves and fish multiplied. In every case, obedience came before the miracle. God rarely reveals every detail in advance because He is teaching us to trust Him instead of our own understanding. As we move toward His promise, He faithfully reveals the next step. Revelation follows obedience. Stop Measuring God’s Promise by Your Resources One of the greatest obstacles to walking by faith is our tendency to evaluate God’s calling based on what we currently possess. We look at our bank account, our experience, our education, or our circumstances and conclude that what God has placed in our hearts is impossible. But impossible according to whom? If God has truly spoken, then His promise is not limited by your current resources. He already knows what you need before you ever take the first step. He knows the people you’ll meet, the opportunities He will open, and the provision He has already prepared. The God who gives the assignment also provides everything necessary to fulfill it. Our responsibility is not to manufacture the outcome. Our responsibility is to trust His Word enough to begin walking. Faith Always Has Corresponding Action James 2:17 teaches that faith without works is dead. Genuine faith always produces action because believing God changes the way we live. A farmer builds a barn because he expects a harvest. A fisherman prepares his equipment because he expects to catch fish. Expectation always leads to preparation. The same principle applies to every promise God gives us. When we truly believe His Word, our actions begin to reflect that confidence. We pray differently. We speak differently. We prepare differently. We stop waiting for perfect conditions and begin positioning ourselves for what God has promised to do. Faith is never passive. It responds. Don’t Leave the Promise Unclaimed Second Corinthians 1:20 tells us that every promise of God is “Yes” in Christ. Through Jesus, we have been welcomed into God’s Kingdom and invited to live under His covenant promises. Those promises were never intended to remain words on a page. They were given so we could experience God’s goodness in every area of life. The question isn’t whether God is faithful. The question is whether we are willing to believe Him enough to move. Faith doesn’t wait until every detail is clear. It responds to God’s Word with confidence, trusting that He will reveal each step in His perfect timing. As we walk in obedience, we begin to see His faithfulness unfold in ways we never could have orchestrated ourselves. What promise has God placed before you? Where is He asking you to trust Him instead of your own understanding? Perhaps today is your opportunity to stop waiting for certainty and begin walking by faith. As you take that first step of obedience, remember this: God already knows the way forward. He has already prepared what you cannot yet see, and He is faithful to accomplish everything He has promised. When you move toward His promise, you’ll discover that He has been preparing the way all along. A Simple Prayer Father, thank You that every promise You make is trustworthy and backed by Your power. Forgive me for the times I’ve allowed fear, doubt, or my own understanding to keep me from moving forward in faith. Teach me to trust Your Word more than my circumstances and to recognize the next step You are calling me to take. Give me the courage to obey even when I cannot see the entire path ahead, knowing that You are faithful to provide everything I need. Help me walk confidently in the promises You have prepared for me and experience the fullness of life You desire for Your children. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen.
Reading Time 5 mins 07 secs – Many Christians know what God has promised. They’ve read the verses. They’ve heard the sermons. They believe God is faithful. Yet they still wonder why they aren’t seeing breakthrough. Why does fear keep returning? Why does peace seem so difficult to hold onto? Why do God’s promises sometimes feel distant from everyday life? The problem often isn’t that God has failed to provide. The problem is that many believers have never learned how His Kingdom works. God never intended His children to simply know His promises. He intended them to live in them. You Belong to the Kingdom Paul writes that we are “ No longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household ” (Ephesians 2:19, NIV). The moment you accepted Jesus Christ, everything changed. You weren’t simply forgiven. You became a citizen of God’s Kingdom. Citizenship comes with rights. Every nation has laws that protect its citizens and benefits they are entitled to receive. God’s Kingdom is no different. When you were rescued from the kingdom of darkness and brought into God’s Kingdom, every promise He has made became part of your inheritance. You have a legal right to everything God says belongs to His children. The question is whether you’re living like a citizen. Knowing Isn’t Enough Many people assume that knowing God’s promises is enough. But Scripture teaches something different. You can know what God says and still fail to experience it. Imagine owning a field. The deed is in your name. You clear away the weeds and prepare the soil. But you never plant a seed. The land belongs to you, yet it produces nothing because you never put it to work. Many believers treat God’s promises the same way. They know them. They can quote them. But they never learn how to apply them to their lives. God’s promises were never meant to stay on the pages of your Bible. They were meant to become your reality. Prioritize Standing Your Ground Paul tells believers to “put on the full armor of God” so they can stand against the schemes of the enemy. Then he repeats the same instruction again and again: Stand. Stand your ground. Stand firm. The enemy’s greatest weapon is often intimidation. He wants you to surrender what God has already promised. He fills your mind with fear, doubt, and discouragement, hoping you’ll abandon your confidence before the answer comes. But Scripture says the shield of faith extinguishes every fiery dart of the enemy. Fear doesn’t have to control your thinking. When you know who you are in Christ and what God’s Word says about you, you don't have to agree with the enemy. You agree with God. Apply What God Has Given One of the most powerful verses in Hebrews says that the heroes of faith, Through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised (Hebrews 11:33a, NIV). Notice the progression: They believed. They acted. Then they received what God had promised. Faith is more than believing God can do something. Faith responds. It takes hold of what God has already provided. Jesus demonstrated this throughout His ministry. When He encountered sickness, He spoke to it. When He encountered demonic oppression, He commanded it to leave. He applied the authority that already belonged to Him. As citizens of God’s Kingdom, we have been given authority through Christ. That doesn’t mean we control God. It means we agree with His Word, receive His promises by faith, and apply them to the situations we face. Don’t Settle for Less In the book of Judges, the Israelites abandoned the fertile land God had given them and hid in caves because they were afraid of their enemies. Instead of standing on God’s promise, they adjusted their lives around fear. How often do we do the same? We settle for anxiety. We accept defeat. We lower our expectations. We begin believing our circumstances have the final word. But God’s Word says otherwise. If He says He will provide, believe Him. If He says He has given you peace, receive it. If He says healing belongs to His children, stand on His promise. Don’t build your future around what the enemy says is possible. Build it on what God has declared. Every Promise Is Already “Yes” Scripture says that every promise of God is “Yes” in Christ. God has already spoken. His promises are already established. Our response is faith. Our response is “Amen.” “So be it.” When we agree with God’s Word, stand our ground, and refuse to be moved by fear, we position ourselves to experience what He has already provided. God isn’t withholding His promises. He invites us to understand His Kingdom and walk confidently in the authority He has given us. His promises are still true. His Kingdom still works. And everything He has spoken remains available to those who believe Him. A Simple Prayer Father, Thank You for making me a citizen of Your Kingdom through Jesus Christ. Help me understand what You have already provided for me and teach me to walk confidently in every promise You have given. Strengthen my faith to stand firm when challenges come and to agree with Your Word instead of fear. Show me how to apply Your truth to every area of my life and trust that Your promises are always faithful. Thank You that every promise is “Yes” in Christ. I receive what You have prepared for me and choose to stand on Your Word today. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen.
Reading Time 5 mins 48 secs – Most people were never designed to simply survive. Yet that is exactly how many live. Paycheck to paycheck. Bill to bill. Problem to problem. When life becomes a constant struggle to make ends meet, dreams often begin to disappear. Vision fades. Purpose becomes difficult to see. Instead of building something meaningful, people spend their energy trying to escape pressure, avoid emergencies, and make it through another week. But that was never God's design. Money Is Not the Problem Many Christians have been taught to view money with suspicion. Some assume that having money is wrong. Others believe that prosperity and spirituality cannot coexist. Yet Scripture does not say money is evil. Paul told Timothy that “ the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil ” (1 Timothy 6:10, NIV). The problem was never money itself. The problem was allowing money to become an idol. Money itself is simply a tool. Like any tool, it can be used for good or for harm. A hammer can build a house or break a window. The issue is not the tool. The issue is the heart of the person using it. God never intended His people to fear money. He intended them to understand it, steward it, and use it for Kingdom purposes. The Curse Was More Than Sin When Adam and Eve walked with God in the Garden, they lacked nothing. There was no fear. No shortage. No survival mentality. Everything they needed was already provided. But after the Fall, humanity entered what Scripture describes as a cursed system of painful toil, sweat, thorns, and thistles. God told Adam that the ground was cursed and that food would now come through painful labor and the sweat of his brow. From that moment forward, people found themselves fighting simply to survive. Many people are still living under that mindset today. They work jobs they dislike because they feel trapped. They surrender dreams because they feel they have no options. They lose sight of who they are because survival consumes all their attention. But Jesus came to bring something different. Good News for the Poor When Jesus announced His ministry, He stood in the synagogue, opened the scroll of Isaiah, and declared that the Spirit of the Lord had anointed Him to proclaim good news to the poor. Jesus knew that poverty was about more than money. It affects how people see themselves. Dreams are exchanged for desperation. Purpose is replaced by pressure. Jesus came to restore more than provision. He came to restore identity. Think about that. What is good news to someone who is poor? The good news is not that poverty is a blessing. The good news is freedom. Freedom from bondage. Freedom from limitation. Freedom from a system that keeps people trapped. Isaiah’s prophecy continues by describing broken hearts being healed, captives being set free, and those who mourn receiving beauty instead of ashes. It paints a picture of restoration. Jesus came to restore what was lost. He came to reconnect people to the Kingdom of God and the resources, wisdom, and provision that flow from it. You Were Created to Create One of the greatest lies people believe is that they are destined to spend their lives confined by limitations. But you were made in the image of God. God creates. And He created you with the ability to create as well. You were not designed to live without vision. You were not designed to live without purpose. You were not designed to spend your life trapped in survival mode. God reminded Israel in Deuteronomy 8 not to forget where their increase came from. As they entered a land of abundance, built fine houses, and watched their silver and gold multiply, He warned them not to believe their own strength had produced it. Instead, He said, “ Remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth ” (Deuteronomy 8:18, NIV). Notice what it does not say. It does not say God gives everyone wealth without responsibility. It says He gives the ability. The wisdom. The ideas. The opportunities. The strategies. The insight. Often, one God-given idea can change the course of an entire life. The Blessing Works Through You Many people spend their lives looking for something to bless. The Kingdom works differently. God blesses people. When Joseph was placed in charge of Potiphar's household, everything under his care prospered because the blessing was operating through Joseph. The blessing was not on the building. The blessing was on the person. The same principle appears in Deuteronomy 28, where God promises to bless everything His people put their hands to. The blessing wasn't on the barns. The blessing was on the people filling the barns. Wherever you place your hand in obedience to God, His favor, wisdom, and provision can flow through you into that assignment. You carry Kingdom authority. You carry Kingdom citizenship. You carry Kingdom potential. You Can Start Today Perhaps you feel trapped in survival mode. Maybe debt has stolen your peace. Maybe disappointment has caused you to lower your expectations. Maybe you’ve stopped dreaming because life has become about getting through the next month. God has not forgotten you. His Kingdom still operates. His promises still work. His wisdom is still available. His favor still opens doors. Paul wrote that God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask, think, or imagine according to His power at work within us. And the same God who gives seed to the sower still gives His people the power to produce wealth, create value, serve others, and fulfill their purpose. You do not have to spend your life surviving. In Christ, there is a better way. A Simple Prayer Father, Thank You for sending Jesus to redeem me from every part of the curse and to bring me into Your Kingdom. Help me renew my thinking where I have accepted survival as my destiny. Show me the opportunities, wisdom, and purpose You have prepared for my life. Teach me to steward resources faithfully, trust Your promises completely, and use every blessing to advance Your Kingdom. Thank You for giving me the power to produce wealth and the grace to fulfill my assignment. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen.