Nasty Will Get You Nowhere. What Should You Do Instead?
Drenda Keesee • September 1, 2020
There I was getting my nails done when I remembered…
I had left a pan of boiling vinegar on the stove! Almost TWO HOURS AGO!
FIRE!
Would the fire department be at our house for the SECOND TIME in the same week?!
You’ll want to read this whole crazy story in my brand new book, Nasty Gets Us Nowhere, but I want to share it with you here because it really shows something we ALL have done, and maybe still do...
...something critically important that we need to talk about, especially right now, with the direction our culture has been going.
I was away from Gary ministering in Puerto Rico for a Happy Life kids’ outreach event, helping restore hope to a community that had been ravaged by hurricanes, when I got a call from our home security company.
Mrs. Keesee, a fire has been detected in your home.
What?!? A FIRE?!?
I knew Gary was supposed to be home, but the home security company hadn’t been able to reach him. I told them that he might be deer hunting and told them to go ahead and dispatch the fire department. I was concerned and I prayed, but knew there was nothing else I could do from that far away. So I turned my focus back to the children’s event.
Later, Gary texted me that everything was okay. He told me he had just started to cook his breakfast and left it to simmer while he stepped outside to hang up his deer. What he didn’t realize was that the simmer setting was hot enough to burn his food, let alone start a fire.
A few days later, Gary picked me up from the airport and we had breakfast and did some much overdue Christmas shopping. When we arrived home that evening, I knew right away that something was terribly wrong.
Smoke.
If you’ve ever burnt a bag of popcorn in the microwave, you know what our house smelled like.
Well, this smoke stench was WAY WORSE than burnt popcorn, and it was in every room of our house.
I couldn’t hide that I was annoyed. It was a week before Christmas and the house smelled terrible.
“I can’t believe you almost caught our house on fire! I better not leave you home alone again,” I teased Gary.
I knew he was already embarrassed, but he could’ve burnt the house down a week before Christmas! I thought I needed to remind him of the lesson he had already learned. Ugh.
The rest of the evening, I searched for ways to get the smell out of our house. Several websites suggested boiling white vinegar with water, so that’s what I did. The following morning, I did it again, but it wasn’t helping. Our house still reeked with that awful, smoky smell.
Later that morning, while I was getting my nails done, my nail technician asked if anything exciting had happened that week. I began to tell her about the kids’ event in Puerto Rico and then Gary’s pan fire. (I don’t make it a practice to share my husband’s mistakes, but with the smell still stuck up my nose, the fire was still very much on my mind.)
FIRE!!!!
That’s the moment I remembered I had left a pan of boiling vinegar on the stove! Almost two hours ago!
You’ll have to read the rest of the story in Nasty Gets Us Nowhere, but I will tell you this:
Our house smelled worse than ever.
And what did I learn?
I had done the SAME thing Gary did. I almost burned our house down.
I had teased him and shamed him a bit for what he had done, and now I had done the exact same thing.
We do this same thing all too often—we judge, blame, and faultfind, but we make the same mistakes others make or do the same things we complain about them doing.
Rather than seeing ourselves clearly, we MAGNIFY and emphasize the failures and shortcomings of others but minimize our own.
And sometimes we get downright nasty with each other.
Think about it. How many times have you been trying to get your point across with a neighbor, a coworker, the server who messed up your dinner order, the customer service rep on the phone, the combative person on Facebook…?
Or maybe you’re always kind to the people outside of your home, but it’s a slippery slope with the people you live with and are supposed to love the most?
The bottom line is that being nasty gets YOU nowhere.
AND NASTY ISN’T GOING TO GET US ANYWHERE AS BELIEVERS RIGHT NOW IN OUR NATION AND IN THIS CULTURE.
What WILL get us somewhere?
What will change things?
Is there ever a time you should be nasty?
I answer all of these questions and more in my brand new book, Nasty Gets Us Nowhere. But let me share this:
For us to see real change in our world, we MUST heal our fractures and unite as women and men succeeding together for the kingdom of God.
We are living in the hour in which God desires to pour out His Spirit on all the earth, through His sons and daughters, but it won’t happen unless women and men under His voice are unified for one purpose.
We can’t fulfill our God-ordained destiny without working together, and we MUST start in our marriages and families or we will never be able to impact our nation.
There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
(Galatians 3:28)
Friend, people are flawed and imperfect, but treating each other with nastiness is never the answer.
I know it’s been really easy, with everything going on in the world, to get caught up in emotions and to easily MAGNIFY and emphasize the failures and shortcomings of others.
We CAN succeed together… and much of our happiness depends on it. Working together won’t always be easy, but I believe with the grace of God backing you, it is possible!
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Marriage, and other relationships, don’t have to be hard. Drenda's brand new book, Nasty Gets Us Nowhere, promises to be one of the most thought-provoking books of the year. Learn how you can succeed with the men and women in your life! Get your copy here.

Reading Time 3 mins 42 secs – When most people hear the word success, they picture a number in a bank account, a title on a door, or applause from a crowd. Those things aren’t wrong, but they’re not the whole story. Kingdom success is the fruit of living aligned with God’s presence, God’s purpose, and God’s principles. It’s success that sticks in your family, your finances, your calling, and your soul. What God Calls “Success” The Bible defines success as prospering in what God has assigned you to do. Joshua was told to keep God’s Word front and center. You shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. —Joshua 1:8b (NIV) Success begins with alignment, not achievement. When your ways line up with His ways, outcomes change. Success Grows Where Purpose Lives You weren’t designed to drift; you were designed to steward. Deuteronomy 8:18 says God gives you the power to create wealth—not so you can worship wealth but so you can build, bless, and advance His Kingdom. Purpose answers why you’re pursuing something. When your why is right, God can trust you with more. Ask yourself: What problem has God wired me to solve? Who gets helped when I win? How does this goal move God’s purpose forward? Three Pillars of Kingdom Success Presence – Success starts by seeking God first (Matthew 6:33). In His presence, you get clarity, courage, and correction. Purpose – Your assignment sets the target. Aimless motion is not momentum. Practice – Faith works when you work the principles. Plan, sow, and act; God multiplies. Principles That Produce God’s system isn’t random. There’s a time to plant seeds and a time to harvest. If you plant the right seeds consistently, a harvest is inevitable. In Proverbs 16:3, we’re reminded to commit whatever we do to the Lord, and He will establish our plans. Think like a steward and ask, “What have I been given?”(such as time, gifts, relationships, and ideas). Manage them with excellence. Choose excellence daily and do your work heartily as for the Lord, because excellence attracts opportunity. Prioritize wisdom by reading, learning, and surrounding yourself with people who sharpen you. Guard your words; there’s power in the words you speak, so take time to intentionally speak truth. Speak words that are in line with God’s promise rather than with fear. In Luke 16:10, we’re reminded to take faith steps, because small obedient steps multiply, and the servant that is faithful with little can be trusted with much. Break the Success Killers Break the success killers by refusing comparison, which steals both joy and peace. Instead, stay focused on running your own race and celebrating progress over perfection. Avoid hurrying, because quick fixes create fragile results, while patience and process create durable success. Replace excuses like “I can’t” with the empowering mindset of “How can I, with God’s help?” Finally, reject isolation, because lone wolf living limits growth, while community, mentors, and partners in purpose accelerate you. When you consistently choose these healthier patterns, you build the resilience and clarity needed to sustain long-term success. A Weekly Success Rhythm Seek (Daily): 10–15 minutes in the Word and prayer to align your heart and hear strategy. Plan (Weekly): Review your goals and priorities to ensure alignment. Decide your top three Kingdom outcomes for the week. Sow (Consistently): Give, serve, and invest in your skills. Measure (Weekly): What moved forward? What needs adjusting? Celebrate progress, then iterate. Rest (Sabbath): Rest is not wasted time; it’s faith in action . When Progress Feels Slow Psalm 1 paints a picture: a person planted by streams, bearing fruit in season . Not every day looks like a harvest day. Some days are root days. Stay planted. Keep sowing. Harvests have a schedule, and God is never late. A Simple Prayer Father, thank You for calling me to succeed Your way. Align my heart with Your presence, clarify my purpose, and teach me to practice Your principles with diligence and joy. I commit my plans to You. Give me wisdom, clarity, and strength to steward what You’ve placed in my hands. Use my success to bless others and advance Your Kingdom. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen. Carry This with You Success in the Kingdom isn’t a finish line; it’s a faithful life . Start where you are. Work with what you have. Obey what God says. Expect His favor. As you align with His presence, purpose, and principles, you’ll see results that last, results that outlive you, and point people to Him.

Reading Time 2 mins 56 secs – Take a moment and think about this: faith isn’t just for the mountaintop moments. It’s for Mondays. It’s for traffic jams, unexpected bills, and the times when you’re just trying to get through the week. God never designed faith to be complicated or out of reach. He designed it to be your everyday operating system. Faith Is for Today Sometimes, we picture faith as something we have to “muster up” for significant challenges, like praying for healing, believing for a miracle, or asking for a breakthrough in a crisis. And while faith absolutely applies to those moments, it’s also for the little ones. Faith is choosing to trust God with your attitude in a tough conversation. Faith is deciding to believe He’ll provide, even when your budget looks thin. Faith is remembering you’re never alone, even when you feel overlooked. Second Corinthians 5:7 (NIV) says, “ For we live by faith, not by sight. ” Notice it doesn’t say “visit by faith” or “use faith once in a while.” It says live. Faith was always meant to be your way of life. Small Steps, Strong Roots Faith doesn’t usually grow in leaps; it grows in steps. Little, steady decisions that put your trust in God day after day. Opening your Bible instead of scrolling on your phone first thing in the morning Speaking truth over yourself when your feelings want to run the show Praying before making a decision instead of relying only on logic These may not seem dramatic, but they lay a strong foundation. And just like a tree with deep roots, your faith will keep you standing strong when storms come. God Is Faithful, Even When Life Isn’t Here’s the best part: your faith doesn’t rest on your ability to figure everything out. It rests on God’s ability to be faithful. And He is. Always. When you feel shaky, remember this: God is steady. When you feel uncertain, remember this: His promises are sure. When you feel small, remember this: faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains. You don’t need giant faith for God to move. You just need real faith in a giant God. Faith That Shows Up in Action Faith isn’t just belief in your heart; it’s trust that shows up in your choices. James 2:17 says, faith without works is dead, which means faith comes alive when you act on it. That could look like forgiving when it’s hard, giving when it feels impossible, or stepping into an opportunity that scares you, but you know God is calling you to. Every time you take action in faith, you’re making a declaration: “God, I trust You more than my feelings, more than my circumstances, and more than what I see.” That kind of faith not only changes your life, but it also inspires others to believe. A Simple Prayer to Start With “Lord, thank You that faith isn’t complicated. Teach me to live by faith in the small things and the big things. I trust You with my today, my tomorrow, and every detail of my life. Strengthen my heart and remind me that You are faithful. In Jesus’s name, amen.” Take This with You Faith isn’t a moment. It’s a mindset. It’s not about pretending life is easy. It’s about trusting God, no matter what life looks like. Friend, you don’t need to wait for a crisis to practice faith. You can start today, right where you are, with whatever you’re carrying. Take a step. Speak His Word. Trust His heart. Because faith isn’t just for the extraordinary, it’s for the everyday. And your everyday is exactly where God loves to show up.

Reading Time 2 mins 49 secs – Okay, let’s take a breath. Not everything has to be heavy, and healing doesn’t have to feel impossible or mysterious. Sometimes, we just need to be reminded that God actually wants us to feel better. Yes, you included. God Cares About How You Feel We can get so used to pushing through that we forget God never designed us to live burned out, worn out, or always dealing with pain. Third John (NIV) 1:2b says, “ I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well .” God’s heart is not just that we survive life. His heart is that we thrive—spirit, soul, and body. That includes your sleep. That includes your energy. That includes your mind and your moods. Healing Isn’t Just for Emergencies Most of us wait to think about healing until something significant goes wrong. A diagnosis. A surgery. A crisis. However, healing is an integral part of your daily life as a believer. You don’t have to wait for something to fall apart to lean into God’s promises. It’s kind of like drinking water; your body needs it regularly, not just when you're dehydrated. The Word is the same. It brings strength, clarity, and peace to your health before the storm hits. You’re allowed to believe in a life where you’re not constantly recovering—you’re well. Small Shifts, Big Results Maybe you’ve been dealing with something for a while—nothing catastrophic, just something that lingers. A chronic ache. Fatigue. Brain fog. A stress habit that’s hard to shake. Can I encourage you? You don’t have to settle for “just getting by.” Start speaking life over your body. Make simple changes in faith; walk a little more, drink more water, eat a bit better, get quiet with God. Healing isn’t always dramatic. Sometimes, it happens gently. Daily. Gradually. The power of God isn’t always loud, but it’s always effective. The Best Kind of Doctor He doesn’t rush your appointment. He’s never stumped by your symptoms. And He doesn’t hand you a bill at the end. He simply says, “Come to Me.” Come tired. Come unsure. Come with your questions. And He’ll give you rest (Matthew 11:28). Yes, He heals in big, miraculous ways—but He also heals in little moments of laughter, sunlight, worship, and truth. Let’s Make This Simple Healing isn’t about performance. It’s about proximity—staying close to the Healer. So, take the pressure off today. You’re not failing if you’re still waiting. You’re not disqualified if you’ve had some doubts. You’re growing. You’re learning. And most of all, you’re loved. Let healing be a conversation you have with God, not a crisis you fear. Let it be part of your everyday life with Him, not just a 911 prayer when things feel scary. A Simple Prayer to Start With “Lord, thank You that You care about every part of me. You know when I’m tired, hurting, anxious, or overwhelmed. Thank You for being my Healer, not just in emergencies but in the everyday. I receive Your peace and Your promises. I speak life over my body and my mind today, in Jesus’s name. Amen.” Take This with You Healing doesn’t have to feel far away or hard to reach. It’s not reserved for the super spiritual or the desperate. It’s available, it’s real, and it’s for right now. You don’t have to make it complicated. Just take one step. Open the Word, talk to God, speak life over yourself, and trust that He’s working behind the scenes. You don’t have to live in survival mode. You were made for wholeness. And friend? You’re allowed to feel better.
