How to Deal with Difficult People

Drenda Keesee • July 17, 2019

Let’s talk about sharks…

Stick with me, this is going somewhere.

I’m not talking about the kind of sharks you see on Shark Week. I’m talking about the kind of sharks you meet in the workplace, in relationships, and even at church. (Yikes!)

Have you ever met a difficult person?

Somebody who was hard to please, critical, controlling, negative, or even rude?

Did a few people come to mind as soon as you read that?

When we meet sharks (note: it’s not usually obvious), we often try to jump through hoops to keep them happy. Been there, got the t-shirt, went back and got a few thousand more.

Gary and I have had to swim with many, many, MANY sharks in business, ministry, relationships, and friendships. During the first few years of running our business, our life often looked like a shark-feeding frenzy.

Honestly, a lot of it was my own fault.

Because I used to be a serial people pleaser. I hated making people unhappy.

Saying no was hard for me. Disappointing people was hard for me. Both of those things made running a business and ministry really hard for me.

When I met somebody who wasn’t happy with me, it became my personal mission to make them change their mind. Hello, can you say disaster waiting to happen?

I was performing for their approval.

It was like dropping blood in the middle of the ocean.

Sharks seemed to be coming from every direction to get a piece of me. As an insecure, timid leader, I was the perfect shark bait.

Gary and I agonized over putting our trust in the wrong people. We faced betrayals, accusations, and let people manipulate us out of time and money.

One day Gary came to me with tears in his eyes. “I wrote my resignation letter today,” he said, trying to fight back the crushing disappointment in his voice.

We were so close to giving everything up because of sharks.

It was CRITICAL that we learned how to deal with difficult people.

It’s critical for you too.

You may feel like quitting today, but I want to encourage you; there are answers.

Redefine Your Role

As a Christian, I used to think it was my job to make everyone happy.

NEWS FLASH: it’s not your job to make everyone happy. Only God can do that—He’s their answer, not you.

Through the years, I’ve learned a powerful secret about sharks…

Sharks don’t eat fish because of anything the fish do. They don’t eat fish because those fish aren’t good enough fish, or because those fish aren’t nice enough to the sharks.

Sharks eat fish simply because they’re SHARKS!

I learned this lesson the hard way. I didn’t know how to separate somebody else’s reactions from my identity.

Jesus was a perfect leader and friend, and even He offended people. John 15:18-19 (NIV) say,

If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

There are people you will meet in life who will get offended with you no matter what you do. If you exhaust yourself trying to please them, you may delay it for a day, but the inevitable will come.

Romans 12:18 (NIV) says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

Pay special attention to the middle of that Scripture: “As far as it depends on you. ” Peace in every relationship is not always within your power. People have responsibility too. Do as much as you can to live at peace with everyone, but don’t live in a state of people pleasing, fear, or intimidation.

You have to learn how to separate other people’s actions and reactions from YOUR identity.

And for the record, we can all demonstrate sharklike qualities from time to time. Especially when we’re hurting, tired, or operating out of our emotions.

 

Keep the Vision Ahead

When dealing with difficult people, you have to remember…

You can’t make everyone happy, and that’s okay. God never asked you to.

You’re on a mission.

You’re on assignment.

You can’t compromise your destiny to please people.

Jesus gives us an example of this in Luke 4:42-43 (NIV):

At daybreak, Jesus went out to a solitary place. The people were looking for him and when they came to where he was, they tried to keep him from leaving them. But he said, “I must proclaim the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns also, because that is why I was sent.”

How someone reacts when your obedience to God and the priorities He has placed in your life interfere with what they want from you isn’t a sign of your failure or unworthiness. It’s simply an indicator of an immaturity in them.

You have to stay obedient to the will of God anyway.

Give people grace, patience, and love, but don’t take false responsibility for other people’s offenses.

Keep swimming!

By Gary Keesee March 12, 2026
Reading Time 4 mins 40 secs – If you want to see your future, take a look at your friends. Scripture says plainly, “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33, NIV). That’s not a suggestion. That’s a warning. And the deception is thinking your good character will automatically change the people around you. Sometimes it can. But often, it’s the other way around. Who speaks into your life matters. Who challenges you matters. Who flatters you matters. Who you follow matters. All of it shapes where you end up. The Deception About Influence Many people fall into what’s called false responsibility. They want someone else’s success more than that person wants it for themselves. They believe they can fix, carry, or rescue someone who isn’t willing to change. You must understand something clearly: God sends people, and the enemy sends people. Not every opportunity is from God. Not every relationship is divinely aligned. One of the clearest warning signs is constant flattery. When someone continually builds you up without ever challenging you, pay attention. Flattery often hides motive. That’s why you must judge your friendships carefully. Fear Is Contagious, and So Is Courage Before Israel went into battle, Moses gave a striking instruction: if someone was afraid or faint-hearted, send them home. Why? Because fear spreads. Fear talks. Doubt talks. Unbelief talks. But courage talks too. Faith talks too. Vision talks too. The people around you will either magnify the obstacle or magnify the promise. They will either rehearse what could go wrong or remind you what God said. Choose wisely. Proof That Who You Follow Changes You After David defeated Goliath, King Saul pursued him. David escaped to a cave. Not a palace, not a resort—a cave. And 400 men followed him. The Bible describes them as distressed, in debt, and discontented. That doesn’t sound like leadership material. But something changed. Those same men became David’s mighty men of valor. They performed exploits. They accumulated wealth. They became strong, disciplined warriors. What happened? They followed someone who carried covenant confidence. They followed faith instead of fear. And they were transformed. Who you follow will change you, either for good or for worse. The Cost of the Wrong Circle You don’t have to make the wrong decision yourself to feel the consequences of being in the wrong environment. Association carries weight. When you attach yourself to people who are reckless, careless, or spiritually drifting, their choices begin to affect your direction. Influence is subtle at first. It doesn’t feel dangerous. It feels normal. Comfortable. Accepted. But over time, conversations shape thinking. Thinking shapes decisions. Decisions shape outcomes. That’s why Scripture says not to be deceived. The drift rarely feels dramatic in the beginning. It feels gradual. You may never intend to compromise your standards. You may never plan to move away from your convictions. But proximity has power. What you tolerate eventually influences what you participate in. This is not about isolation. It’s about discernment. You can love everyone. You can minister to anyone. But you must be wise about who has consistent access to your life. Because you don’t have to commit the act to feel the consequence of the association. Choose your circle carefully. Not Everyone Qualifies for Close Access There are people you minister to. There are people you love. There are people you encourage. But not everyone qualifies to be your close companion. Ezra warned Israel not to make treaties of friendship with those whose practices would corrupt them. The principle still applies: don’t make agreements with influences that pull you away from God. There are relationships you need to: Increase Maintain Or discontinue And you must discern which is which. The righteous choose their friends carefully. What Healthy Friendship Looks Like The right people in your life will: Encourage your walk with God Strengthen your faith Uphold your marriage and family Believe in you Challenge you past your comfort zone Correct you when you’re wrong A true friend will tell you the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. An enemy flatters. A friend sharpens. If no one in your life can correct you, you’re vulnerable. Hold Unswervingly Hebrews instructs us to hold unswervingly to the hope we profess and to encourage one another toward love and good deeds. “Unswervingly” means steady. Unwavering. Not drifting. The right friendships help you stay steady. The wrong ones slowly pull you off course, usually so gradually you don’t notice until you’re far from where you intended to be. Make a decision: as for you and your house, you will serve the Lord. And build your circle around that decision. A Simple Prayer Father,  Thank You for guiding my steps and ordering my relationships. Give me wisdom to choose my circle carefully. Help me discern the voices that strengthen my faith and the ones that pull me away. Surround me with people who challenge me, correct me, and encourage me to follow You fully. Give me courage to walk away from anything that hinders my walk with You. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen.
By Gary Keesee February 13, 2026
Reading Time 5 mins 59 secs – Most of us have asked it, sometimes out loud, sometimes in frustration: Are we there yet? Not just about a trip but about life. Calling. Direction. The future. The problem isn’t that you want clarity. The problem is thinking God will hand you the whole map up front. Proverbs instructs us to give careful thought to the paths our feet are on and to be steadfast in all our ways. This isn’t passive language. It assumes intentional movement, focused direction, and refusal to drift. Staying on the right path requires attention and discipline, not just belief. That means the focus isn’t anxiety about the destination; it’s attention to the path under your feet today. Look Straight Ahead Proverbs gives a simple instruction that’s easy to skip over: “Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Do not turn to the right or the left” (Proverbs 4:25, 27a, NIV). So, what are you supposed to look at? You’re not meant to stare at fear, compare lanes, or obsess over what might happen way in the future. You’re meant to keep your gaze fixed where God is leading you now and to keep your foot from evil by refusing distractions that pull you off course. God’s Word is described as a lamp: “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path” (Psalm 119:105, NIV). A lamp doesn’t show you everything. It shows you just enough, a few steps ahead. That’s exactly how God often leads, especially when you’re going somewhere you’ve never been before. That’s why Abraham’s story in Hebrews 11 is so relatable. Abraham obeyed and proceeded, even though he did not know where he was going. And if we’re honest, neither do we. When the Water Doesn’t Part Until Your Feet Touch It Joshua 3 shows what trusting God often looks like. The Jordan was at flood stage. It wasn’t a convenient crossing. But the instruction was still to move forward. And the river didn’t part while they stood on the bank thinking about it. It parted when the priests’ feet touched the water. God’s path often requires motion before you see the breakthrough. The same principle shows up with Peter. He didn’t walk on water; he walked on the word. When Jesus said “come,” that word carried him. You may feel like you’re facing impossible valleys, things that seem like they have no way around them, but if God said “go,” then the obstacle is not proof you missed Him. Sometimes, it’s part of the plan. Don’t Misread the Process Many believers get discouraged because they mistake the beginning for the end. They assume that if God spoke, it should happen immediately. But Scripture shows something else: God often leads with glimpses and dreams, not full explanations. He gives you enough to move and enough to hold on to. That’s why many people quit too early—not because they don’t love God, but because they don’t understand the process. Joseph: Dreams, Training, and the “Pharaoh Moment” Joseph had two dreams at 17. Then life took a hard turn: betrayal, slavery, false accusation, and prison. And yet later, Joseph said something shocking to his brothers: “It was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you” (Genesis 45:5b, NIV). That means the path, including the painful parts, was not random. It was preparation. Joseph couldn’t have gone straight to the palace. He needed training, exposure, language, protocol, and wisdom. God positioned him in the house of a high-ranking official so he could learn what he’d need later. Then came the moment everything was aimed toward: standing before Pharaoh. When that moment arrived, Joseph didn’t just interpret a dream; he had a plan. And the plan seemed good to Pharaoh. There’s a practical takeaway here: sometimes God develops you in places you don’t enjoy so you’ll have something to offer when the door opens. Your faithfulness now can become your credibility later. When You Don’t Like Your Job, You Might Be in Training It’s easy to say, “I hate my job.” But a hard season doesn’t automatically mean you’re off track. Sometimes the question is: Can God trust you where you are? Can He trust your integrity when nobody’s impressed? Can He trust your obedience when you don’t feel like it? Can He trust you to stay out of sin when it would be easier to compromise? This is the kind of training that happens before anyone knows your name. And when you consistently show up with excellence and bring solutions, your gift becomes visible. The value is sometimes found in the training season. You’re being prepared for a season to come, and everything you learned in that training season will not be wasted. Sometimes the First Step Is to Sit After a message about vision and purpose, people can get anxious: “I need to do something right now.” But sometimes wisdom says: be still and sit for a minute. Many people come to Christ carrying an “earth curse system” mindset of work, labor, perform, and strive because that’s all they’ve known. But learning the Kingdom takes time. Identity comes before assignment. Simple Ways to Stay on the Path This Week Fix your gaze. Stop demanding the full map. Stay faithful to today. Keep moving. Don’t get stuck replaying the lies of the enemy. Step in before you see it. Some waters part after your feet touch them. Honor the process. Training seasons are not wasted seasons. Write it down. Keep a record of dreams, words, and reminders from God. A Simple Prayer Father, Thank You for leading me on the right path. Help me fix my gaze straight ahead and follow You one step at a time. Give me the courage to move forward even when I can only see a few feet in front of me. Strengthen me in the process, teach me what I need to learn, guard my integrity, and keep me steady when I feel delayed or discouraged. Remind me of what  You’ve spoken to me through Your Word, through dreams, and through moments you’ve marked in my life. I choose to stay on the path and trust You with the destination. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen.
By Gary Keesee January 19, 2026
Reading Time 3 mins 59 secs – A new year isn’t just a change on the calendar; it is an opportunity for alignment. God is always moving, always advancing His Kingdom, and always inviting His people to come into agreement with what He’s already established. Scripture tells us that God’s throne is established in heaven and His Kingdom rules over all. That means heaven is not distant, theoretical, or reserved for later. The Kingdom of God is active, present, and meant to be experienced now. When you understand that you are a citizen of God’s Kingdom—not someday, but today—it changes how you think, how you pray, and how you live. You stop reacting to life from the outside and start governing from the inside. This is how heaven touches Earth. You Were Created to Rule, Not Struggle From the beginning, God gave humanity authority. He didn’t create people to survive on Earth; He created them to steward it. Dominion was always part of God’s design. Genesis tells us that mankind was created in God’s image and crowned with glory and honor. That crown wasn’t symbolic. It represented authority backed by heaven itself: authority to subdue, to bring order, and to enforce God’s will in the earth. Although that authority was lost through rebellion, Jesus legally restored it. Colossians reminds us that we were rescued from the dominion of darkness and brought into the Kingdom of God’s Son. You are not waiting to enter the Kingdom. You are living in it now. Citizenship Changes Everything Citizenship isn’t just identity. It’s access. When you were born again, you didn’t just receive forgiveness; you received legal standing in God’s Kingdom. Ephesians tells us plainly that we are no longer strangers or outsiders but citizens and members of God’s household. That means the benefits of the Kingdom belong to you now, not later. As a citizen, you have: A right to provision. A right to healing. A right to wisdom and direction. A right to peace and freedom. You don’t approach God as a beggar hoping for mercy. You approach Him as a son or daughter who understands covenant. That perspective alone will change how you pray. Stop Running. Start Seeking. Jesus told us not to run after provision the way the world does. Anxiety-driven effort is not Kingdom living. Instead, He instructed us to seek first the Kingdom and His righteousness. Seeking the Kingdom doesn’t mean begging God to do something He already said yes. It means learning how the Kingdom operates and aligning your life with its laws. In God’s system: Seed produces harvest. Faith releases authority. Agreement allows heaven to move. Truth drives out fear. Everything you need already exists within the Kingdom structure. The issue is rarely whether God is willing; it’s whether we understand how to receive. Understanding Produces Confidence Many believers love God deeply but live unsure of their rights. That uncertainty shows up in prayer filled with desperation instead of confidence. Scripture tells us that when we ask according to God’s will, He hears us, and if He hears us, we already have what we’ve asked. That’s not hope; that’s assurance. Confidence grows when you stop allowing vague ideas about God to shape your thinking and start grounding your life in what His Word actually says. You are not disconnected from heaven. You are not powerless. You are not at the mercy of circumstances. You are a citizen with authority. Agreement Unlocks Heaven on Earth Jesus demonstrated how the Kingdom works everywhere He went. He didn’t plead with the Father to act. He acted in agreement with the Father’s will. When people received healing, freedom, or restoration, it wasn’t because God suddenly decided to intervene. It was because someone came into agreement with what heaven had already established. Heaven moves when faith agrees. Heaven advances when truth is believed. Heaven manifests when authority is exercised. Disagreement—whether through fear, doubt, or false teaching—blocks what God desires to release. Agreement opens the door. Simple Ways to Align with the Kingdom This Year If you want to experience heaven on Earth more fully, start with these practical steps: Renew your thinking daily. Keep God’s Word in front of you morning and night. Truth recalibrates faith. Pray with confidence, not panic. Stop begging. Start agreeing. Expect God’s direction. He knows what you need and how to lead you there. Guard what you believe. Don’t entertain ideas that contradict God’s character or promises. Act on what you know. Authority works when it’s exercised. A Simple Prayer Father,  Thank You that I am a citizen of Your Kingdom and a member of your household. I choose to align my thinking, my words, and my actions with what You have already established. I release every old mindset that limits Your work in my life. Teach me how Your Kingdom operates. Lead me by Your Spirit. Let this be a year of clarity, confidence, and forward movement. I receive what You have already given and step into the life You’ve prepared for me. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen.