How to Deal with Difficult People

Drenda Keesee • July 17, 2019

Let’s talk about sharks…

Stick with me, this is going somewhere.

I’m not talking about the kind of sharks you see on Shark Week. I’m talking about the kind of sharks you meet in the workplace, in relationships, and even at church. (Yikes!)

Have you ever met a difficult person?

Somebody who was hard to please, critical, controlling, negative, or even rude?

Did a few people come to mind as soon as you read that?

When we meet sharks (note: it’s not usually obvious), we often try to jump through hoops to keep them happy. Been there, got the t-shirt, went back and got a few thousand more.

Gary and I have had to swim with many, many, MANY sharks in business, ministry, relationships, and friendships. During the first few years of running our business, our life often looked like a shark-feeding frenzy.

Honestly, a lot of it was my own fault.

Because I used to be a serial people pleaser. I hated making people unhappy.

Saying no was hard for me. Disappointing people was hard for me. Both of those things made running a business and ministry really hard for me.

When I met somebody who wasn’t happy with me, it became my personal mission to make them change their mind. Hello, can you say disaster waiting to happen?

I was performing for their approval.

It was like dropping blood in the middle of the ocean.

Sharks seemed to be coming from every direction to get a piece of me. As an insecure, timid leader, I was the perfect shark bait.

Gary and I agonized over putting our trust in the wrong people. We faced betrayals, accusations, and let people manipulate us out of time and money.

One day Gary came to me with tears in his eyes. “I wrote my resignation letter today,” he said, trying to fight back the crushing disappointment in his voice.

We were so close to giving everything up because of sharks.

It was CRITICAL that we learned how to deal with difficult people.

It’s critical for you too.

You may feel like quitting today, but I want to encourage you; there are answers.

Redefine Your Role

As a Christian, I used to think it was my job to make everyone happy.

NEWS FLASH: it’s not your job to make everyone happy. Only God can do that—He’s their answer, not you.

Through the years, I’ve learned a powerful secret about sharks…

Sharks don’t eat fish because of anything the fish do. They don’t eat fish because those fish aren’t good enough fish, or because those fish aren’t nice enough to the sharks.

Sharks eat fish simply because they’re SHARKS!

I learned this lesson the hard way. I didn’t know how to separate somebody else’s reactions from my identity.

Jesus was a perfect leader and friend, and even He offended people. John 15:18-19 (NIV) say,

If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

There are people you will meet in life who will get offended with you no matter what you do. If you exhaust yourself trying to please them, you may delay it for a day, but the inevitable will come.

Romans 12:18 (NIV) says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

Pay special attention to the middle of that Scripture: “As far as it depends on you. ” Peace in every relationship is not always within your power. People have responsibility too. Do as much as you can to live at peace with everyone, but don’t live in a state of people pleasing, fear, or intimidation.

You have to learn how to separate other people’s actions and reactions from YOUR identity.

And for the record, we can all demonstrate sharklike qualities from time to time. Especially when we’re hurting, tired, or operating out of our emotions.

 

Keep the Vision Ahead

When dealing with difficult people, you have to remember…

You can’t make everyone happy, and that’s okay. God never asked you to.

You’re on a mission.

You’re on assignment.

You can’t compromise your destiny to please people.

Jesus gives us an example of this in Luke 4:42-43 (NIV):

At daybreak, Jesus went out to a solitary place. The people were looking for him and when they came to where he was, they tried to keep him from leaving them. But he said, “I must proclaim the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns also, because that is why I was sent.”

How someone reacts when your obedience to God and the priorities He has placed in your life interfere with what they want from you isn’t a sign of your failure or unworthiness. It’s simply an indicator of an immaturity in them.

You have to stay obedient to the will of God anyway.

Give people grace, patience, and love, but don’t take false responsibility for other people’s offenses.

Keep swimming!

Thankful Hearts and Victorious Lives

By Gary Keesee • December 8, 2025
Reading Time 4 mins 6 secs – Thankfulness isn’t just good manners; it’s a spiritual posture. It’s how your faith stays strong, your heart stays aligned, and your life stays connected to what God is doing. In a world that constantly pulls on your emotions, drains your joy, and fills the air with fear and pressure, thanksgiving becomes how you stay connected to the victory Jesus has already won for you. Second Corinthians 2:14 reminds us that God always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through our lives, He spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of Him everywhere we go. That’s not just poetic language. That’s a description of your life in the Kingdom. You were designed to walk in victory, carry the fragrance of heaven into every room, walk in faith and not fear, and bring evidence of God’s goodness wherever you go. And the doorway into that life? A thankful heart. Thankfulness Is Your Position of Strength You don’t wait until you see victory to thank God. In the Kingdom of God, thankfulness comes before the breakthrough. First Corinthians 15:57 reminds us that God gives us victory through Jesus. Not someday, not eventually, but as a present, active reality. When you say, “Thank You, Lord, for leading me into victory in this situation,” you are aligning your heart with what God has already spoken. You are: Agreeing with His Word. Positioning yourself to receive. Stepping into alignment with His promises. Philippians 4:6 tells us to bring every request to God with thanksgiving. Gratitude is not the result of answered prayer; it’s part of how we pray. If someone handed you a check and you said, “I’ll see if it clears, and then I’ll thank you,” how eager would they be to bless you again? In the same way, when we approach God with “Father, thank You that You always lead me into victory,” we’re not pretending. We’re trusting His character before we see the outcome. That is faith. Gratitude Changes the Atmosphere You don’t just walk into a room; you carry an atmosphere. We’ve all stepped into places that felt heavy, tense, or anxious without anyone saying a word. But God designed you to carry something different: Peace instead of pressure Freedom instead of fear Victory instead of defeat A sound mind instead of anxiety When you adopt a posture of thanksgiving rather than one of complaint, your home changes, your conversations change. Psalm 100 reminds us that we enter God’s presence with thanksgiving and praise. Gratitude isn’t just something we do; it’s how we step into His presence and shift the atmosphere around us. How We Limit God When We Forget to Say “Thank You” Psalm 78 tells us that the people of Israel limited God not because His power failed but because they refused to agree with Him. God wanted to bless them. He had good plans for them. But instead of aligning with His promises, they complained, focused on what they saw instead of what He said, and talked more about giants than about God. Grumbling doesn’t just make you miserable; it closes your hands. Thankfulness opens them. The same is true for every promise in your life—provision, wisdom, direction, breakthrough, and peace. Ask yourself: Am I agreeing with God or resisting Him with my words? Do I talk more about the problem or about His promise? Have I been limiting God by withholding my thankfulness? Simple Ways to Practice Thankfulness Every Day You don’t have to wait for Sunday to live a thankful life. You can practice gratitude right where you are. Start with these 5 simple rhythms: Thank Him before you see the answer. When you pray, don’t just ask. Take time to thank the Lord that the answer to your promise is already yes. Guard the atmosphere of your home. If voices, media, or conversations are feeding fear and heaviness, turn them off. Make room for worship, the Word, and encouragement. Say “thank you” out loud. To God. To people. For big things and small things. Train your heart to respond with gratitude instead of suspicion or resistance. Worship on purpose. You don’t need a worship team to praise. Turn on worship in your car, your kitchen, your living room. Lift your voice. Let His presence fill your space. Check your heart often. If thankfulness and gratitude haven’t been on your heart much, don’t condemn yourself; just correct your course. Let God restore your joy. A Simple Prayer Father, Thank You that in Christ You always lead me into victory. I repent for every time I’ve complained, drifted, or agreed more with fear than with your Word. Today, I choose to be thankful. I say “yes” and “thank You” to Your promises, Your plans, and Your goodness. Restore to me the joy of my salvation. Lift off all heaviness. Fill me fresh with Your Spirit. Let my life carry peace instead of pressure, praise instead of complaining, faith instead of fear. I receive Your wisdom, Your strength, and Your direction for every situation I’m facing. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen.

The Stewardship of Strength

By Gary Keesee • November 13, 2025
Reading Time 2 mins 59 secs – Health isn’t just about how long you live; it’s about how well you live the life God’s called you to. You were created with a purpose, and your body is the vessel that carries that purpose forward. When your body is weary, your mind drifts, and your spirit feels disconnected, it becomes harder to walk in everything God has assigned to you. That’s why good health isn’t optional in the Kingdom. It’s stewardship. God Cares About How You Feel All through Scripture, God shows concern for His people’s well-being, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Jesus healed bodies, calmed minds, and restored people to community. Health in His Kingdom is wholeness, not just healing. It’s walking in peace instead of pressure, strength instead of survival. When you take care of your health, you’re not just maintaining your body; you’re honoring your Creator. Every time you rest when you need it, fuel your body with good food, or take a walk instead of worrying, you’re saying, “Lord, I trust you to sustain me.” Health Is a Faith Decision Faith and health are connected. When you believe God for provision, you also believe Him for energy, renewal, and longevity. Your health journey isn’t about control; it’s about alignment with the Holy Spirit. Romans 12:1 tells us to offer our bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God. That’s not a verse about restriction; it’s about devotion. Your body is a place where the Holy Spirit dwells, and how you care for it reflects your faith. Ask yourself: Am I fueling my body for the calling I’ve been given? Do my daily choices create strength or drain it? What does obedience look like in this area of my life right now? Small acts of obedience like drinking more water, sleeping enough, managing stress, and choosing gratitude are seeds of faith that produce lasting fruit. The Rhythms of Renewal God designed life in rhythms: day and night, work and rest, sowing and reaping. When you move with His rhythm, you live from rest instead of running on empty. Here are a few rhythms that restore strength: Rest intentionally. True rest is more than sleep; it’s trust. It’s the decision to stop striving and let God restore what effort cannot. Eat with awareness. Food was meant to nourish you, not control you. Choose what fuels your body for purpose rather than what comforts it in pressure. Move with joy. Exercise isn’t punishment, it’s a partnership. Every step, stretch, or breath can be an act of worship when done in gratitude. Renew your mind. A healthy body begins with healthy thoughts. Replace “I’m so tired” with “God strengthens me daily.” What you repeat, you begin to believe. When You Feel Stuck There will be days when progress feels invisible. Maybe you’re waiting for healing or battling habits that feel impossible to break. Don’t quit. God doesn’t measure health by perfection. Philippians 1:6 reminds us that He who began a good work in you will carry it to completion. As you continue showing up with faith, the results will follow. A Simple Prayer Father, thank you for giving me this body as a gift, not a burden. Teach me to care for it with wisdom and gratitude. Strengthen me to make choices that bring you glory. Renew my energy, restore my joy, and remind me that you are the source of my strength. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen. Remember This Health isn’t about chasing balance; it’s about choosing alignment. When your spirit leads, your soul settles, and your body follows. Walk with God, and you’ll find strength that doesn’t fade, energy that renews daily, and peace that carries you farther than willpower ever could.

Success That Lasts: God’s Blueprint for Your Life

By Gary Keesee • October 10, 2025
Reading Time 3 mins 42 secs – When most people hear the word success, they picture a number in a bank account, a title on a door, or applause from a crowd. Those things aren’t wrong, but they’re not the whole story. Kingdom success is the fruit of living aligned with God’s presence, God’s purpose, and God’s principles. It’s success that sticks in your family, your finances, your calling, and your soul. What God Calls “Success” The Bible defines success as prospering in what God has assigned you to do. Joshua was told to keep God’s Word front and center. You shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. —Joshua 1:8b (NIV) Success begins with alignment, not achievement. When your ways line up with His ways, outcomes change. Success Grows Where Purpose Lives You weren’t designed to drift; you were designed to steward. Deuteronomy 8:18 says God gives you the power to create wealth—not so you can worship wealth but so you can build, bless, and advance His Kingdom. Purpose answers why you’re pursuing something. When your why is right, God can trust you with more. Ask yourself: What problem has God wired me to solve? Who gets helped when I win? How does this goal move God’s purpose forward? Three Pillars of Kingdom Success Presence – Success starts by seeking God first (Matthew 6:33). In His presence, you get clarity, courage, and correction. Purpose – Your assignment sets the target. Aimless motion is not momentum. Practice – Faith works when you work the principles. Plan, sow, and act; God multiplies. Principles That Produce God’s system isn’t random. There’s a time to plant seeds and a time to harvest. If you plant the right seeds consistently, a harvest is inevitable. In Proverbs 16:3, we’re reminded to commit whatever we do to the Lord, and He will establish our plans. Think like a steward and ask, “What have I been given?”(such as time, gifts, relationships, and ideas). Manage them with excellence. Choose excellence daily and do your work heartily as for the Lord, because excellence attracts opportunity. Prioritize wisdom by reading, learning, and surrounding yourself with people who sharpen you. Guard your words; there’s power in the words you speak, so take time to intentionally speak truth. Speak words that are in line with God’s promise rather than with fear. In Luke 16:10, we’re reminded to take faith steps, because small obedient steps multiply, and the servant that is faithful with little can be trusted with much. Break the Success Killers Break the success killers by refusing comparison, which steals both joy and peace. Instead, stay focused on running your own race and celebrating progress over perfection. Avoid hurrying, because quick fixes create fragile results, while patience and process create durable success. Replace excuses like “I can’t” with the empowering mindset of “How can I, with God’s help?” Finally, reject isolation, because lone wolf living limits growth, while community, mentors, and partners in purpose accelerate you. When you consistently choose these healthier patterns, you build the resilience and clarity needed to sustain long-term success. A Weekly Success Rhythm Seek (Daily): 10–15 minutes in the Word and prayer to align your heart and hear strategy. Plan (Weekly): Review your goals and priorities to ensure alignment. Decide your top three Kingdom outcomes for the week. Sow (Consistently): Give, serve, and invest in your skills. Measure (Weekly): What moved forward? What needs adjusting? Celebrate progress, then iterate. Rest (Sabbath): Rest is not wasted time; it’s faith in action . When Progress Feels Slow Psalm 1 paints a picture: a person planted by streams, bearing fruit in season . Not every day looks like a harvest day. Some days are root days. Stay planted. Keep sowing. Harvests have a schedule, and God is never late. A Simple Prayer Father, thank You for calling me to succeed Your way. Align my heart with Your presence, clarify my purpose, and teach me to practice Your principles with diligence and joy. I commit my plans to You. Give me wisdom, clarity, and strength to steward what You’ve placed in my hands. Use my success to bless others and advance Your Kingdom. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen. Carry This with You Success in the Kingdom isn’t a finish line; it’s a faithful life . Start where you are. Work with what you have. Obey what God says. Expect His favor. As you align with His presence, purpose, and principles, you’ll see results that last, results that outlive you, and point people to Him.